The sound thundered through the top floor of Wolfram and Hart's Los Angeles
branch like someone was screaming into God's own P.A. system. The wordless
bellow held both a roaring distillation of wrath and a defiant indictment of
an unjust world.
Harmony scurried out of Angel's office, slamming the door behind her. A
coffee cup clattered from her nerveless fingers to smash on the floor.
Barely heard under the roar, emergency sirens began their own shrill chorus.
Red emergency lights began to flash as plaster shook loose of the ceiling.
Still, the scream went on and on until, at the very edge of sanity and
endurance, it stopped mercifully short, as if abruptly snipped off with
rusty hedge clippers.
Spike, draped in a plastic sheet with his peroxide-blond locks hidden behind
a shower cap, came hurtling out of wherever he stayed in the building when
not engaged in a plot-specific hurtle.
"What the hell was that?" the lean vampire shouted. "Another bloody
apocalypse? Or did someone run the bollocks of the Prince of Darkness
through a blender?"
Harmony looked faint. "Worse. The boss just got a fax from the Powers that
"What the bloody Senior Partners?" Spike sneered, in his most
"No. Network executives. We've been canceled."
Spike looked uncomprehending for a moment and then shrugged. "Ah well. Knew
Captain bloody Caveman didn't have what it takes to helm a spin-off. Was
bloody fun while it lasted, though." He turned to leave.
"Wait, where are you going?" Harmony said. "There's still time to get some
online petitions going. The boss will fight this, I just know it."
"Sod off already, bloody Florence Nightingale, I'm off to long scarves and
jelly-baby territory," Spike said. "Those blokes, at least, can show a
player of my caliber some respect, if you know what I mean."
The door to the office burst open again. The figure that slouched outward
into the simulated florescent daylight of the hallway may have looked like
Angel but the unholy fires that burned in its eyes were all Angelus.
"Bring me the head of the first available fanfic author," he barked to
Harmony. "I don't care who it is. I'm not picky."
"But, boss, why?" Harmony whined. "How's this going to help us stay on the
Angel's brow furrowed for a long moment as he digested the question.
"You're right," he said, turning back toward his office. "It won't."
"I knew you'd understand, boss," Harmony said, clasping her hands together
"It'll just make me feel a whole lot better."
Disclaimer: Angel, Spike, and Harmony belong to Mutant Enemy. This is
strictly for non-profit amusement. Please don't shoot me!