I apologise for this, but once I thought of it, I had to do it...
At The Last Toon Saloon
Scene: The famous animated desert gulch town from a dozen Yosemite Sam
shorts. The saloon has a large sign on it reading "The Last Toon Saloon". A
portly sillouette walks slowly up Main Street. For no apparent reason, the
voice of Lynda Barron is in the air...
"Somewhere between Toonside,
"And old Vortex City,
"There's a mixing of genres,
"That's not all that pretty,
"Scott Gray's the connection,
"Between Western and toon,
"And the fur will be flying,
"At the Last Toon Saloon."
The figure entered the saloon. Instantly, all chatter stopped. The figure
was now recognisable as a tabby cartoon cat, wearing a long duster and a
coeboy hat over his shoulder-length hair. This was the famous laconic
gunfighter Doc Tails, the best feline gunslinger since the Riviera Kid. He
wasn't going to be doing any gunslinging today, though, not with his arm
bandaged up and in a sling.
He arrived at the bar. "Two fingers of milk," he growled at the barlemming.
The rodent quickly poured the milk, and scooted it up the bar. After
watching it disappear off the edge of the bar, Doc Tails looked pointedly
at the sling and then at the lemming. "Another. And just hand it to me this
As he sipped his milk, his flat gaze at the bar's other patrons. "I'm a-
lookin' for someone," he said, "An' when I find him, he's gonna be sorry. I
didn't start this, but I aim to settle it."
The townstoons all looked at each other nervously. Finally, a nervy
tortoise stuttered "Who.. who are you lookin' for, Mr Tails?"
"Ain't it obvious? I'm a-lookin' for the guy who shot ma paw!"
[Summary: Old joke.]
Doc Tails technically created by me, but is an amalgam of two Scott Gray
Vortex City created by Scott Gray.
Toonside created by me and Imran.
Last Toon Saloon based on the Last Chance Saloon from Gunfighters and This
Toon Round created by me and Imran, and based in turn on This Time Round
created by Tyler Dion.
The Riviera Kid is the property of Grant Naylor.
The author accepts no responsibility for how badly you may have imagined
Lynda Barron's singing. The author's muse accepts no responsibilty for
anything, except a nagging feeling that he could have done more to stop it.
Official Absentee of EU Skiffeysoc