TTR - Banned Valentines In which Valentine's Night at the Round has been banned but the Fifth Doctor and Tegan still manage to come to a new understanding. Unfortunately, nobody else is about to give them a moment's peace... I had the idea for this (as I've said in my apology) and have since been trying to catch up on the 8 years in between me leaving adwc and me coming back. This isn't really a TDF, but it could be a kind of consequence, given that the Fifth Doctor spends a lot of time uselessly telling Nyssa not to kill Adric. :-) And lately he's even lost to the Master at cricket... Hope I'm not repeating anything or putting my foot in it, but I did read the FAQ and lots of stories carefully (that was fun...). 8-) ************************ "Here it is, Valentine's Day and I'm stuck going with you," grumbled Tegan. "Just as well they banned it at the Round!" She and the Doctor were walking back across the Round's car park to the TARDIS. The Doctor had come out without anything in his pockets and had panicked before they reached the door. The Doctor was hurt. "That's not very kind, Tegan!" "You've never liked me!" He looked awkward. "Now, that's just not true!" "Oh, come off it! I'm not stupid, whatever the writers might think," she retorted as they reached the TARDIS. "You don't have to pretend here." The Fifth Doctor hesitated, as he was about the open the doors. "You really think that?" "Don't you?" He opened the door and disappeared inside, muttering something she couldn't quite catch. "What?" "I - ah - this is difficult for me to say, but given the circumstances, it seemed the only thing to do." Tegan was baffled. "What did I just ask? Look, you can hardly be any plainer if you say it aloud. Quiet, Tegan; keep out of the way, Tegan! Can I leave you at Heathrow again, Tegan? I mean, all of us companions have a got a lot to complain about, but I'm the only one who ended being the shameless idiot who was dragged across time and space by a man who couldn't wait to dump her!" "I'm sorry," he said regretfully. "Listen, this incarnation - it was always obvious that no writer was going to - well - I don't do emotions! And think of The Rule!" She folded her arms. "That's a pretty feeble excuse, when all I'm asking is: couldn't you have been nicer if you didn't really hate me?" "I - I liked you too much," he confessed, partly out of desperation. "That's what I'm trying to say! There was no chance - no hope - had to keep that hidden -." Tegan stared at him in shock. "And it's not as if you think much of me," he continued hastily. "You've made that plain enough!" She said weakly, "You were ignoring me! Why d'you think I was so crabby?" There was a moment of mutual panic in the TARDIS. "If this is some kind of wind up -," began Tegan warily. The fifth Doctor was red. "I can assure you, it's not. I've never been more serious!" Then he coughed and said, "Er. What do we do next?" "This can't be true," said Tegan, in shock still. "You can't really like me! Not like that..." "Why not?" he grinned at her, rather pleased to be dealing with the revelation better than she was. She threw him a rueful look. "Let's face it, I've not always been the best travelling companion!" "Well, there was all the arguing," he agreed thoughtfully. "And that obsession with getting back to Heathrow. And all the awkward questions -." Tegan frowned. "Hang on, this isn't exactly romantic!" "I told you: it's Not Allowed!" he protested and then smiled at her across the console. "Mind you, I seem to need someone to ask the awkward questions. And I did beg you not to leave!" She said, "Yes, and then ran away as fast as you could! I know - I saw you go!" "That is just not true!" he countered. "You wouldn't know, but I was - I was upset. I even vowed to mend my ways." Tegan folded her arms. "Yeah, and I bet you forgot all about me five minutes into the next adventure!" "Just because I didn't talk about you didn't mean -." "Huh!" He said firmly, "In this situation, you have to read between the lines." "The print was just that little bit too small!" The Doctor sighed. "And you say I'm unromantic!" "Sorry," she returned. "I'm still trying to get my head around the idea. I mean, if this is some trick and we walk into the Round and find one of your other selves paying you because you've won some Valentine's Day bet -." It was his turn to be shocked. "You think I would do that?" "I don't know. The rest of them would!" He moved round the console towards her. "How can I convince you?" Tegan waited hopefully. "You know," he said distantly, "I've always appreciated you thanking me when I tried to save your life. You wouldn't believe the people who don't." She gave him a look. "I was hoping for something a little more than that!" "Ah," said the Doctor, finally getting her point (and abandoning his all too familiar complaint about companions who didn't so much as bother to thank him when he gave up a whole regeneration for them...). He pulled her nearer... Adric burst in at a run. The Doctor leapt away from Tegan hastily. "Adric! We were just - er - hum -." He paid no attention. "I can't take any more today. Don't tell her I'm here!" "Nyssa?" "Who else?" demanded Adric. "I think she's in here already," Tegan lied. He shook his head. "No, she was outside just a minute ago. With another exploding squirrel, I suppose." "Exploding ... squirrel?" echoed the Doctor. He nodded gloomily. "There are limits. And it's so impersonal. I thought she'd have come up with something really special for Valentine's Day. I'll stay here and keep you company. There'll only be trouble otherwise if we leave you two together!" "Er, yes," said the Doctor, not sure how to take that. He laughed at them. "You see, you were arguing again, weren't you?" "Yep," said Tegan. "That'd be us. Argue, argue! Never a dull moment. Doctor, let's go somewhere a little less private! No, Adric, if she's out there, you'd better stay in here! We'll tell her we saw you heading for the crèche." He stared at her. "Why would I _ever_ do that? Oh. Well, yes, thanks. I suppose." He coughed. "You could give her a hint if she's upset." How weird are those two?" whispered Tegan to the Doctor as they left. "Well," said Tegan, as they walked across the car park, hand in hand. "This is where I just have to ask you about Peri. You can ask me about Turlough if you like!" He gave her a sidelong look. "Turlough?" "Ignore me," said Tegan hastily. They tried to sit down in a quiet corner, where they could at least talk and consider their next move. After all, the chances of the Fifth Doctor getting his TARDIS to himself were seriously limited. A few minutes later, Turlough slunk across and sat next to Tegan. "Get off," she said. He gave her a surprised look and edged away nervously. "They just had another 'Best Male Companion' Competition and I came in last." "Really?" said Tegan, genuinely shocked. "What about Adric?" He said, "He was disqualified from the start. The Brigadier said with that haircut, he might as well be a girl. Besides, Nyssa would only have made a mess of him, as usual. So I thought I'd join you two! After all, it'll stop you arguing, won't it?" "Everyone's so concerned suddenly," said the Doctor, sounding strained. "How ... thoughtful!" Tegan frowned. "Do we argue that much?" Turlough laughed hysterically. "Hey, you know what this means," said Tegan, with a wicked smile for the Doctor. "I should have seen it before!" The Doctor looked puzzled. "Why did the Valentine's Night get cancelled, anyway? Somehow a Best Male Companion Competition doesn't strike me as much of an alternative." Turlough shrugged. "You know how things normally end up on Valentine's Night. The Master still turned up with a bunch of red roses, though." "Who for?" asked Tegan in alarm, but Turlough had no idea. The Doctor said, "Really? I can't say I noticed anything out of the ordinary before..." "Apart from the time someone mentioned the words 'St Valentine's Day Massacre' in Nyssa's hearing -," Turlough reminded him. "Ah." "...And the year Peri got suffocated by cards, hearts, chocolates and balloons when everyone decided to send her a Valentine at once. And that time Grace came to meet your Eighth self with one red rose and - well, let's face it, it wasn't pretty after he told her he was with Charley now!" Tegan joined in. "How long did it take for them to remove the rose? What about the time some of the authors managed to set themselves up on blind dates with Sarah and Liz?" Turlough nodded. "I don't think we ever did see them again..." "And that's not even starting on your behaviour!" added Tegan to the Doctor. She corrected herself quickly, "Your other selves, I mean!" He gave her a questioning look and she leant nearer to say, "Don't take this the wrong way, but it's this you I'm interested in!" "I know I liked you for a reason," returned the Doctor cheerfully. He excused himself and went to the bar. He leant across. "Harry, do we have a private room?" "Upstairs?" said Harry, looking mildly surprised. It was usually the rowdier Doctors and shadier characters who wanted rooms. Then he glanced across the Round and gave him a wink. "Yes, you go out the back - I'll tell Tegan I saw you leave. She's been hanging round you all night - you must be tired of it, eh?" He was lost for words. "Yes," he said, beginning to verge on hysteria. "We just can't stop arguing!" He returned to the table, feeling dejected. Tegan gave him a strained smile. "Six, Ten and Eight have been over to congratulate me. And then Seven told me that it probably wasn't worth it. Now the first four are giving me odd looks, wondering what it is they don't know. But Nine did ask Turlough to join him in a game of arm wrestling." "I can't apologise enough for my other selves," said the Fifth Doctor. "What can I say?" Tegan shrugged. "Look, you all save the universe from time to time. You can't expect to be perfect with it." "Yes," he agreed, but he glanced at the Sixth Doctor across the room. "However, there are some fates worse than death!" She took his hand. "I promise to make up for it if anyone ever lets us have the chance!" "Really?" he said, beginning to cheer up again, just as Sarah sat down, followed by Harry, one either side of them. Sarah leant forward, "Stop arguing for a moment, you two. We need your help!" "Not arguing!" said Tegan through gritted teeth. She gave her a puzzled look, but continued. "Harry's not doing too well in the competition and I think we should do something about it -." "Yes, of course!" said the Doctor. "We promise to vote for you!" Harry looked embarrassed. "Look, old girl, there's no need for this. I'm quite happy coming in next-to-last. I mean, there'll only be trouble from Polly if Ben doesn't get to win. The mood she's in, she'll find some new loophole of her own and have us all out of the Round if we don't look out!" "It's not fair," said Sarah stubbornly. "I mean, I would never have believed it for the Brig to pull rank like that. And does he actually count as a companion?" Harry looked worried. "Let's not go down that road! You know it only gets violent when people start talking canon and all that rot!" "Maybe this is a bad idea," said Tegan to the Doctor, ignoring them. "Maybe we shouldn't even try." Harry nodded. "That's exactly what I was saying." "No," said Tegan. "I mean -." She looked at the Doctor. "What do you think?" He shook his head. "No! I don't give up before I've started - and I didn't think you did, either!" "So you agree with me?" said Sarah. Jamie reached them and gave Sarah and Harry suspicious looks. "Hey! Are you trying to get them to do your dirty work for you? Ah, give up, Sullivan! You know I'm going to win!" "We were trying to have a private conversation before you all came over," pointed out the Doctor. Jamie shook his head. "Everyone knows that you and the Australian lassie are always rowing!" "Did he just call me Lassie?" The Doctor put his head in his hands. "Better get back to the bar!" Harry excused himself swiftly and left, Sarah hurrying after, still trying to persuade him to be more assertive. As Jamie went to talk to the Second Doctor and Victoria about the underhand behaviour of the rest of the contestants, Tegan and the Fifth Doctor shared a look of relief. "Now, where were we?" said Tegan. He got no chance to answer. Susan pulled a chair over and sat down between them. "Hello, Grandfather! Are you two arguing again?" "No!" they said in chorus. She gave them puzzled looks. "And... do you have to call me that?" Susan shrugged. "Well, you are my Grandfather! All of you. I think. Anyway, have you seen what's going on in the competition? It's so unfair! Between Polly and the Brigadier, most people haven't even been allowed to take part and now Jamie's over there getting my other grandfather to hatch up some plot to get him to win, and you know what you're like in that incarnation!" "Er, yes." She said, "So, we've got to do something!" "What?" demanded Tegan sourly. Susan shrank away towards the Doctor. "Well, there's no need to be like that! Isn't it obvious? Ian has to win!" "Don't you think we should leave it to the voters?" queried the Doctor. "That's fair surely?" She shook her head stubbornly. "Polly keeps telling people that she won't let them in if they don't vote for Ben. She keeps claiming they're obscure fictional characters in disguise as regulars!" "Look," interrupted Tegan. "I'm sorry that Ian's not doing much better than Turlough and Harry, but I just don't care! Does it matter who wins the stupid competition? They will keep doing this, heaven only knows why! Do us girls have best female companion competitions? I think not! Now, shove off, we were trying to have a private talk here!" Susan got up, offended. "Well, I'll just go and let you moan at Grandfather in peace, then!" Tegan directed a did-you-hear-what-she-just-said-to-me look at the Doctor. "Look, let's sneak upstairs," he suggested. Tegan held his hand under the table. "I'm not sure. I don't know if you're ready for the things that go on up there!" "Which you obviously know nothing about?" he responded pointedly. "Obviously," she agreed, going red. "Oh, what is the matter with me? Did I just say no to that idea? I take it back - let's!" The Doctor pulled her to her feet. "We need to talk!" hissed the Fourth Doctor from behind them. They both jumped violently and let go of each other. "Do we?" responded the Fifth with a pained expression. He sprawled himself over the nearest chair and put his ginger beer down on the table and motioned for them to sit. Somehow, they found themselves doing just that. "Now, I need to know whatever it is I know that I don't know yet!" "I beg your pardon?" murmured the Fifth. He scowled. "You know what I mean! Some of me know something that I don't know this evening. It makes me uneasy when I don't know what I'm up to. One has to keep an eye on one's other selves - well, you know how it is." "Yes," agreed the Doctor. "Can't it wait? I promise it's not some conspiracy." The other Doctor shrugged. "Well, if you want to stay here and argue with Tegan, be my guest, but I just thought -." "I can't think of anything I'd like more," the Fifth Doctor returned sincerely and with a smile, for once baffling his fourth incarnation. The Fourth signed and pulled himself to his feet, winding his wayward scarf back around his neck. "By the way, if you haven't voted yet, I hear Harry could do with some help. He was MY companion, after all! He should be doing better than this!" "We've already been canvassed," said Tegan. The Doctor waited for him to leave them and turned to Tegan again. She nodded behind him and he turned slowly, to find the Tenth Doctor and Rose sitting down at their table. "Hi," said the Tenth Doctor. "Awkward moment and all, I know, but you can't think of anything that might get rid of that glue you made up for fixing the TARDIS console, can you?" "I'm sorry?" "That's all right; it's entirely my fault. Or possibly hers -. But I was sure I was you when I came up with it. If you follow me." Rose made a face at Tegan. "I'm not sure I do," the Fifth said. "What's the problem with it anyway?" The Tenth said, "We-ell. It's sort of super super-glue, isn't it? And I wouldn't say there's a problem with it, so much as it works really, really well... And there I was fixing a loose button back on the console, all finished - and I hold Rose's hand -" "Turns out he still had some of the glue on it," she finished for him. "And here we are, stuck like this! It's not funny!" Tegan raised an eyebrow. "Will anyone notice the difference?" "Although," said the Tenth Doctor, thinking about it, "it could work out. How are they going to separate us if we're glued together?" Rose sighed. "I don't want to leave you, Doctor, but I'd like my hand back. Do you want to come with me everywhere - even when I have to go to the loo?" "Ew," said the Doctor. "All right, I'll fix it. Come with me!" She turned. "You were winding me up? Doctor, when I get this hand free, I swear I'm going to slap you!" He grinned at the other two. "Promises, promises!" He said, "Rose, I'm just trying to find a way not to lose you!" "I might think that was sweet if you can find a way to get us unattached without tearing my skin off," she told him. The Tenth Doctor grimaced and led her out of the Round at a run. "Quickly!" Left alone for a moment, the Fifth Doctor grabbed Tegan by the hand and headed for the back stairs. "Maybe I'm dreaming?" mused Tegan as she followed him up. "Or we're really in one of those other, even weirder realities?" He stopped and gave her a slow grin. "I can assure you we're not." "You!" The Doctor and Tegan turned as the Master stared down at them. "This time, Doctor, I won't let you ruin my plans!" "Er. What plans?" said the Doctor, still holding Tegan's hand. He glared. "Don't give me that, Doctor. I'm not a fool. You'd never be coming up here with her if you didn't know that tonight is the night - we're determined that one of us is going to break down the Rani's defences!" "Ah, so you've set your earlier self on her, have you?" returned the Doctor. The Ainley Master narrowed his eyes. "Why should you assume that?" "Well, stands to reason, doesn't it?" Then the Doctor looked back at him. "Why should I be trying to stop you?" The Master paused, thinking about it. "I don't know, but isn't that what you always do?" "Believe me, I don't care how many of you try to seduce the Rani!" He gave his evil chuckle. "Both of her, of course!" The Fifth Doctor held up his hands. "But I don't want to know details!" "Then, you don't want to come upstairs, my dear Doctor!" he returned and slid away, back into the shadows above. Tegan put her hand through the Doctor's arm. "We can't go up there with that lot!" "No," said the Doctor slowly, "I really don't think we can!" The Master reappeared. He squinted down at the two of them. "Can it be, then? Were you really coming up here for an assignation with HER?" "That's none of your business!" "Oho, Doctor, you know I always taken an interest in your well- being. You're only going to end up hen-pecked -." He shhed Tegan and then said, amicably, "Whereas you'll be in charge in a relationship with the Rani...?" "Drat you, Doctor!" said the Master. "Ah, I hear her calling me! What do they say? Absence makes the heart grow fonder... I think we may be getting somewhere!" He ran out of view. Dismayed, the Doctor sank down onto the nearest step. "We can't do this, can we? There's a conspiracy to stop us. Maybe it's all for the best. This is why I never said anything before." "Because everyone thinks we argue?" He shook his head. "No, this. Creeping around, snatching odd moments between continuities. I should be able to offer you something more." "Well, that's very nice of you, Doctor," said Tegan, looking at her feet. "You mean a nice semi somewhere or -?" He sighed as he stood, and held out his hand to her. "Well, something more than this insanity. We'll stick to being friends, shall we? Er - whatever it is that we are." "No!" said Tegan, grabbing him by the lapels (heedless of his celery) with a fierce light in her brown eyes. "Rabbits to that, Doctor! It's all very well being noble, but I'll take what I can get! You've started this off and I'm not letting you end it here, like this!" Since he didn't argue, she kissed him. The Doctor and Tegan slipped back into the Round some moments later, still hand in hand. "We could get lost in the TARDIS together," Tegan suggested. "I mean, I know Adric's in there, which isn't ideal, but given all those corridors..." He said tetchily, "It's my TARDIS and you'd think I could snatch a moment in there with you without any of this fuss. And I told you - I should be able to offer you more than a behind-the-bikesheds affair!" "Bikesheds," echoed Tegan thoughtfully. "That's a point. Do you think they've got one at the school?" He gave her one of his looks. "I don't think that's a good idea." They gradually noticed how many people were giving them curious glances. Tegan sighed and withdrew her hand. "I tell you," Mel was squeaking and pointing towards them, "I saw them kissing! I thought I was going to throw up!" The Doctor marched forward, finally losing his temper. "I don't see what the problem is if Tegan and I want to do something other than argue! It's hardly a crime - and it is Valentine's Day, after all!" At that everyone did turn. Six said smugly, "Mel was just telling us that she saw the Masters having a romantic dinner with the Ranis when she nipped upstairs to use the ladies. Apparently she's found a scientific interest in the ones hanging on to their twelfth life -." "All black and blobby and - ugh!" put in Mel. "Ah," said the Fifth Doctor. "Yes," agreed Mel crossly. "What did you two think I meant?" Turlough fainted. "No, I am still perfectly sane," said the Fifth Doctor patiently, surrounded by his other selves. "As much as any of us are. It's nobody's business but ours!" The Sixth Doctor said, "As long as it's understood that I get Peri." The rest looked at him, but said nothing. "This," said the First Doctor sternly, "is why Valentine's Night has been banned. It's never going to work out, as I should very well know by now if I were me." The Fifth Doctor sighed. "I have to share the TARDIS with Adric and Nyssa and their - well, whatever it is - and Turlough's hardly much help! If I want to find comfort with Tegan, what's wrong with that? When I think of some of the things that you - me - I get up to sometimes -." "What's wrong with it?" said the Second Doctor in disgust. "It's - it's-!" The Third said, "I'll tell you what it is. You're taking things too seriously - you know there's no real continuity here. You'll only get hurt when she's written into some erotic fiction with somebody else." "Has she been in any?" asked the Eighth Doctor curiously. The rest glared at him. "Why do you want to know?" asked the Fifth with an uncharacteristically dark edge to his voice. Turlough was sitting with the rest of the companions present around him. "I mean, depending on whose fan-fiction you read, I've been with both of them!" Harry put a drink in front of him. "Have that one on the house." Turlough wept into the glass. Ian coughed awkwardly and said, "Maybe there is something we could do?" He looked at Jamie. "I - oh, all right then!" He glanced across at Ben, who nodded. The Brigadier came forward. "Turlough, even though I still don't like you, you miserable little squirt, stealing my car -." "Is this supposed to cheer me up?" He continued, "We could - er - have a recount on the vote." "There's not much point," sighed Turlough, in the deepest gloom. Sarah folded her arms and shook her head. She said to Harry, "He is such a drama queen. I can't believe they're going to let him get away with this!" He gave her a shocked look. "The poor chap's upset and no wonder!" Ian said, "Everyone, let's vote again and we'll see what happens." Turlough hid his glee as best as he could, but he knew he was never going to have a better chance than this... Tegan would have been doing what she could to rescue the Doctor from his other selves, but she had been cornered by her relatives. "What are you lot doing here?" Her Auntie Vanessa made her sit down. "I've been hearing some things about you, my girl!" "You're dead!" snapped Tegan, who was not in the mood for this. She seized on this. "Exactly! And who's to blame for that? And you're going to get involved with the man who got me killed, your poor grandfather kidnapped and your favourite cousin attacked by an anti- matter chicken!" "Actually, yes!" said Tegan, exasperated. "That's exactly what I'm going to do if everyone will let us alone for two seconds together! If I'd wanted to spend time with you lot, I'd never have run away with him in the first place! Second place, I mean..." "I mean, all this romantic nonsense with companions," continued the Third Doctor, in full moralising flow. "It's all very well, here and there in a drabble or so, but not like this!" "You're all just jealous!" The First Doctor rapped him with his cane. "I can assure you, my boy, that I'm not!" "Nonsense!" agreed the Second, although his gaze strayed to Zoe. "Complete and utter nonsense!" The Eighth objected, "I really don't see what the fuss is about. What's a kiss between friends? Worse things have happened here!" "And it's always a mistake," growled the Fourth. "Except, of course, if it involves either Romana and me." He laughed to himself. The Fifth Doctor pulled himself up. "I don't have to listen to this!" "I think you should take your chance," advised the Seventh Doctor, looking away into the distance. "I can't stand unrequited love!" Six glared at him. "Don't get started on bus stations and burnt toast again!" "You're always staring at the dartboard," said the Ninth to the Seventh. He hit him with his umbrella. "Have you forgotten? I've got to keep hinting at mysterious depths. Like you with the Time War, but less obvious." The others all drew in their breath and shook their heads. "Don't mention the Time War!" "Less obvious?" echoed the Sixth, at his most scathing. "My outfit is less obvious than you!" The Ninth only sighed and looked at the door. "I'd like to know what's taking so long in getting that glue removed..." "He still won't tell me how I died," said the Eighth. "I think I ought to know!" Tegan arrived at the same moment and coloured at the immediate attention she had from all the Doctors. She caught hold of the Fifth's arm and said, "We've got to go. Someone's even sent my relatives in after me!" "You know," said the Doctor slowly, "it's almost as if there really IS a conspiracy..." Harry faced the Doctors, lined up at the bar. "You want Valentine's Night back?" "Why should he be the only one to kiss a companion tonight?" said the Second Doctor. "It's unfair!" Harry looked to Francois for help, since this would probably need an Ogron's touch. "You know how much trouble it causes!" "Look, I promise not to try and have two dates at once this time," said the Third, rubbing the back of his neck. "It didn't work out. I'll just have to choose." Already a worried look was crossing his face. "Liz or Jo? Jo or Liz?" The ShalkaDoc, still as sour as he had been ever since the new series was announced, cut in, "If it's such a problem, ask the Brigadier to join you for a pint!" Francois glared at them all. "NO VALENTINES!" "I can have a Valentine's thing if I want," said the Second sulkily. "After all, Ben will ask Polly out and Jamie will go with Victoria, so it's no problem -." The Sixth turned. "Hah! Zoe? I still remember the horror on her face from last year - you had to pretend it was a joke and she still wouldn't sit near you for a month!" They ran back out into the car park just as their TARDIS exploded into fragments. "I've told Nyssa," said the Doctor. "How many times have I told her that it's one thing to kill Adric but another to destroy the TARDIS in the process?" He gave the empty space where his TARDIS had been a hurt, puzzled look. "Could a squirrel do that much damage?" Tegan said, "We've got nowhere left to go. At least - nowhere that's not _worse_ than this place." "Happy Valentine's Day, Tegan," said the Doctor, putting his coat around her before she froze. She said eventually, "Well, I suppose you did warn me it had been banned!" ******************************* This Time Round was created by Tyler Dion. Everyone else belongs to the BBC, although I don't think they'd own them in this state... (I'm sure characters belonging to other people usually found in the Round are either keeping quiet, having a romantic dinner elsewhere, where Valentine's Night hasn't been banned, or have been kept out by Polly or their Brigadier in their efforts to influence the outcome of the night's competition). I've broken my own rules for writing fan-fiction... And I'm beginning to wonder if I've finished... Quick! Vicky runs for it.