Elsewhere in 'Look Who's Talking', the day care centre outside continuity...
[The baby Eighth Doctor, complete with brown frock coat and fob watch shoved down his nappy, is busy tinkering with something lost in Lego scaffolding. Izzy, a baby girl with ginger hair who's smaller than virtually everyone else, is staring at the TV and sucking a Darth Vader doll. Charley, a baby girl wearing baby clothes from the 30s, is watching the Doctor with an adoring look on her face]
Doc: Izzy, pass the spanner, please.
Doc: Thank y- Izzy, this is a _wrench_, not a spanner.
Doc [sighs]: Okay, pass the sonic screwdriver. We'll just have to make some adjustments...
Doc: Izzy... This is a _neutron ram_, not a sonic screwdriver...
Doc: Yes, thank you so much, Charley... Now, if you could kindly _stop_ giggling and get back to work...
Charley [grins]: Yeth, bosth.
Doc [closes his eyes]: Why me? Why me?
[Anji's sitting on the floor in front of the... whatever it is they're building, her mouth hanging open. Mel crawls over and starts dabbing at Anji's mouth with a tissue]
Mel: Here, lemme get that. You're dribbling. And _you_ are crazy.
Doc [shrugs] They said that about Nyssa... And look where she is now.
Mel [raises eyebrow] : Yeah. Giving Adric a wedgie. Do you _really_ wanna end up like that?
Doc [hurt look]: Come on, Mel. It's not as if a jet-powered pushchair's _that_ ridiculous...
Anji [blinks]: *What?!*
Doc [stern look in Mel's direction]: And where are your manners, young lady? Introduce, _then_ yell... Hello, Anji.
Anji [blinks even more rapidly]: Huh??! How....Wha.. [closes eyes] Okay. What's going on?
Doc: I'm the Doc. Well, one of them, anyway... Eighth Doc, to be precise...
Anji [mutters] : I'm not even gonna ask...
Doc [continues]: _This_ is Izzy S. And just as soon as she tears herself away from the Teletubbies, she's going to pass the spanner, *right*, Izzy?
Doc [gesturing to the other side of the scaffolding]: And _that's_ Charley. Bit... old-fashioned, but-
Charley [muffled]: Hey, bosth. I've done it! The di- dimen- the thingy that maketh it bigger on the inthide than the outhide's in...
Mel [jaw drops]: You've actually succeeded?!
Doc [gives Izzy a stern look]: Yes. And just as soon as Izzy hands me the spanner, I can make the final adjustments to the battering ram.
Anji [gawping]: *Battering ram?!*
Doc: Aahh... _Thank you_, Izzy... Now, let me see... Oh. We need a battering ram to knock the door down.
Anji [starts grinning madly]: Breakout?
Doc [looks startled] : No, break _in_. The Adults are keeping something from us in This Time Round. And I want to find out what. Maybe it's where that disgusting mush at dinnertime comes from. Maybe it's a storehouse of endless milk. Maybe it's where they keep the really _good_ toys. The point is, _I don't know what it is!_
Mel [shakes head]: This is loonier than the time Sixth Doc wanted to build a TV station...
Izzy [pulls Darth Vader doll out of her mouth]: He succeeded, didn't he?
Mel: That's what bothers me...
Doc: There. That should do it... [He looks around, then crawls up to the top of the scaffolding] Alright. Babies of the day care centre, listen carefully. This message is of vital importance to the lives of you all...
[Mel starts beating her head against the scaffolding] I _hate_ when he starts doing injokes...
Doc [continues]: For many months now, the Adults have kept us out of This Time Round. With the aid of _this_... [he points to the pushchair] ...we'll finally be able to find out what's in there. Who's with me?
[A massive cheer goes up from the assembled babies. Followed by the occasional sound of retching]
Doc [grins]: All right. Everybody in. Room enough for everybody... yes, _really_, Brigadier... Yes, I _know_ it looks like an ordinary pushchair, Sarah... It will work. Trust me. Who's got the cookies?
Anji [gives Mel a sideways look]: We're all going to die, aren't we?
Death: I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
Mel [thinks about this]: Quite probably, yes...
Doc [yells down from the top of the scaffolding]: Okay, you two, time to get in. We're just about to leave...
[Anji and Mel roll their eyes up, but get ready to go in anyway]
Anji [mutters to herself] : Travelling in a jet-powered pushchair that's bigger inside than out, complete with battering ram, breaking into an Adults Only area... Mum is gonna have _kittens_.
[Anji starts grinning]
Copyright 2001 Imran Inayat