**DANCING ON THE DARKSIDE -- The Candia Harcourt Songbook**
*9. Going Down to the Valley of the Shadow
of the Guys and Blow-Up Dolls*
Once I'd fan your fires with my spiced breath:
Now I have to filk a Spice Girls song
Frigging in a thoron jacuzzi
while you frug and chew bentlam, dressed as Donkey Kong.
I know baby this is the Darkside
But you know if you still got any pride we're goin' wrong, wrong, wrong,
We're goin' wrong...
You get cranked up and want me inspiring something chill and dark
Then you yawn when I sing of Yetis
playing blind man's boff with Marky Mark.
I'm sick and tired of our separate lives,
separated just to fall apart, apart, apart and out, out, out,
We're fallin' out...
Now you kiss up to Miss Cold-Lips, help you kick this shit
While I play nice games on the Lightside
with Carrie Cuddles and her cute-ass kit.
You used to drive me to bloody distraction
Every night I'd make your hart's-horn sound
We need a break to pick us up
But one day man I'll come back home and we'll be goin' down, down, down,
(Hot dog with extra chilli!), down, down, down,
We'll be goin' down...
"She does not get eaten by the sharks at this time."
- William Goldman, _The Princess Bride_.