THIS TIME ROUND: HIDEOUS KINKY 1/1 by Paul Gadzikowski DOCTOR WHO series characters and concepts copyright BBC tv THIS TIME ROUND concept by Tyler Dion; after Kielle         "The script for the STAR TREK comic strip crossover I'm in is done. I get better dialog here in TTR," Peri whined (that's how Americans spell it).         For some ten minutes since she'd arrived to cry in her beer at the bar, all other interaction in the Friday-large This Time Round crowd had gradually but inexorably ground to a half under assault from the astronomical moping radiating from her barstool. No one seemed willing or able to stop it ... so far.         "And *here*, I don't get hardly anything to do but sexual innuendo, even from the guy who likes me. 'Course he's just following the trend! My first Decalog appearance I get made the villain's lust toy. The first scene of my first MA I get flushed nude through the TARDIS corridors cuz a gravitic anomaly catches me skinnydipping. And it all goes back to the shot in Episode 1 of 'Planet of Fire' that just happens to pan down me and up me when I got a bikini on. Is the only thing that the audience remembers of me the way Nicola Bryant held up a leotard? Maybe I should just give up and stop fighting it -"         "Oh, stop your whinging," groaned Leela. She reached to a nearby table under Nyssa's skirt, before the Trakenite could react pulled out a late 20th century Earth powered-projectile weapon that was too long for Nyssa to have hidden there, and blew Peri away.         Of those present only Duncan Macleod, at the crossover poker game table, was new enough to TTR never before to have seen someone killed for entertainment purposes only. When Leela turned back forward in her chair toward the table where she was sitting with Sarah Jane and both Romanas, she beheld Duncan's sword some three centimeters from her nose. "What?" she said.         "Put that thing away," said Doctor Seven tiredly from the poker table. "Both of you," he added to Leela.         "Don't bother," grumbled Nyssa to Leela. "The surprise is ruined *now*."         "She just splattered that woman all over the bar!" Duncan shouted.         Leela shrugged. "I'll leave a big tip."         "It's all right," Doctor Six soothed, walking gingerly up to Duncan as if the Highlander were the homicidal maniac. "You don't understand."         "What don't I understand?" Confused, Duncan allowed Doctor Six to press on his arm until the sword was lowered.         "We'll just find out in an hour that she's really still alive and married to Francois the Ogron bartender ..." FIN Summary for archivist: TTR, humor (marginal TDF) Peri, Leela, the sixth and seventh Doctors, Duncan Macleod (HIGHLANDER) Peri's turn -- Paul Gadzikowski, scarfman@iglou.com http://members.iglou.com.scarfman "'Fire bad. Tree pretty.'"