This one was written in response to Mag's "seasonal challenge".


A House of Horrors
A TTR:TDF quick lunchbreak fiction


The Fifth Doctor stepped out of the building, his face ashen
white. There was a faint tremble to his steps, which he tried
very hard to hide.

Adric was right, he thought incredulously. She _is_ insane.
Completely and utterly insane.

He was not surprised to find his Trakenite companion waiting for
him beyond the final door. She greeted him with an expectant
look on her face, obviously waiting to hear his opinions on the,
err, project.

"Well, Doctor?" she asked, "What did you think?"

"That was... extraordinary." he said, still dazed, but with
enough presence to realize he needed to say something positive to
her. After all, the horrors he had seen in there could only have
come from someone who was truly twisted, disturbed and unstable.
Offhand, he didn't feel like giving her a reason to go any more
psychotic than she obviously was.

Behind him, the Sixth Doctor stumbled his way out of the house.
He was being help along by Peri and Mel. All of them were
visibly trembling. "I don't think I've ever been more frightened
in my entire life..." he mumbled. "When those two popped in front
of us in that corridor... I thought I was going to have a double

"I need a drink." a dazed Peri said.

"So do I." Mel agreed.

All three gave the young woman in brown a horrified glare as they

"Oh, good." she said, obviously relieved. "I was afraid I'd made
it too tame. After all, as I understand it the object of this
holiday is to scare people, and since we've all seen our share of
monsters, corpses, and, um, vampires, I didn't think any of those
would be frightful enough..."

"You... certainly achieved your purpose." 5Doc shuddered.

Tegan chose that moment to step up to the two. She looked toward
the nondescript facade with some curiosity. "So," she asked her
friend, "where is this Halloween project you've been working on?"

The Trakenite pointed toward a doorway. "Just go through that
doorway over there to start."

"Um, Tegan..." 5Doc began hesitantly. "You might want to

"Oh, come, Doctor!" the Australian said over her shoulder, as she
headed for the indicated starting point. "After all we've been
through, do you think there's _anything_ that can frighten us


Tegan stepped through the doorway.

The first room looked like the office of a high-ranking business
executive. Beyond it the skyline of London was visible in the
windows. Abruptly, a human male in a business suit appeared at
the room's desk, and with a sickened start Tegan recognized him.

"Improve your ratings," Michael Grade demanded, "Or I'll cancel
the show!"

"Oh my gawd." Tegan gasped, took a few steps backwards, then
turned and fled the room and down the adjacent corridor. She
hadn't gone very far when a man and a woman stepped out from the
shadows in front of her. "Hi, we're Pip and Jane!" the two said,
simultaneously, in a sweetly saccharin tone. "We're your script

"No!! Please, no!!"

From a speaker above, the first bars of the "Ballad of the Last
Chance Saloon" could be heard warbling.

"No... no, please not that!"

She made it to the next room, which was a warehouse full of large
film reels. A long line of BBC employees were busy standing in a
line and handing reels from one to the next. At the far end of
the room stood an incinerator, with fire stoked and a door open
to the hell within. The employee closest to the incinerator was
merrily throwing in the film reels he was handed. "Power of the
Daleks" he said in passing, "No one will miss that!"

'Argh!! I must get out of here..."

Now she ran straight into the next room. As she entered, a
monstrous apparition appeared. It grew larger before her eyes,
towering above in all of its terrible, bulky, Hawaiian-shirt clad
evil. It smiled maniacally at her.

"I am John Nathan Turner," the apparition thundered, "and I will
be your producer FOREVER!! Bwahahahahahahaha!"

Tegan couldn't help it now. She did the only thing a normal,
rational person would do.

She screamed.

30 October 1999