"This seems rather... ill-advised," mused Fey. "In light of past
experience and the nature of narrative causality."

Izzy was not so restrained. "Are you people nuts?!" she blurted,
shaking a finger at the Steel Maiden staff as though she were
scolding the toddlers yet again. "Just how often do you intend
to have that lunatic 'friend' of yours monkey with poor Varla's
brain?! Even alien android hookers have rights!"

"Your concern is noted, Isabelle," the Movellan purred, "but is
unnecessary. The installed philosophical-introspection program
patch has greatly enhanced my processor performance by enabling
me to easily reconcile my original program requirement to conquer
the Universe with my added program requirement of pleasuring

"I'm almost afraid to ask," muttered Izzy, "but how so?"

"Simply put, my existential purpose is to seduce every organic
female in the Universe, so that they will no longer breed with their
males and their species will die out, thus ensuring Movellan victory."

Fey shook her head. "I don't think that's a realistically attainable
goal, Varla."

"Perhaps not, Ms. Truscott-Sade." Varla licked her lips, then
cupped Fey's chin, looking into her eyes. "But as philosophies go,
mine is not so much a destination as a journey..."


'Doctor Who' is property of the BBC.
'This Time Round' created by Tyler Dion.

Archivist's Notes:
Type(s): Steel Maiden; drabble
Blurb: Varla the Movellan discovers the meaning of life. Her life, anyway.