THE KING TO COME 1/1 TTR by Paul Gadzikowski Bits of this work may derive from properties of the BBC, Fox, Paramount, et al., but it's non-profit and in no way intrudes on their markets. THIS TIME ROUND concept by Tyler Dion, after Kielle KING ARTHUR IN TIME AND SPACE is mine. It was the annual Season Finale party at Friday night crossover poker at This Time Round. The tavern was stuffed with non-WHO characters, most of them eligible for invitation thanks to the present author. Cwej was trying to persuade the BUFFY girls that, since their lame duck network was billing theirs as "the WB series finale", they were obliged to participate in the Series Finale Wet Underwear Contest. Captain Janeway joined the argument on his side in hopes of being spared herself. Anya talked Xander into taking Janeway's place and everyone was happy but Cris, and perhaps Xander. Yet, somehow, the focus of our semi-omniscient narration is elsewhere. "Who the hell are you, anyway?" demanded the Valeyard. The crowd of visitors had forced many of the regular, genuinely WHO customers to sit or even stand at the bar. The area was jammed with the familiar faces of companions, recurring villains and even favorite single-appearance supporting characters - except for the two people at the Valeyard's left. He didn't recognize them, but if they'd been crossover characters they'd've been on the makeshift stage with Francois commandeering their clothes and hosing them down. The man in some kind of space service uniform just smiled apologetically in response to the Valeyard's inquiry, but the small woman in skintight green said, "He's Arthur Pendragon, High King of all British space. And I'm his half-sister Morgan le Fey the time-traveling sorceress." "Yeah?" retorted the Valeyard. "How'd you get in here?" "We drop by, once in awhile," said Arthur. "I know you now," sneered the Valeyard. "You don't belong here." "The tavern, or the newsgroup?" Arthur asked ingenuously. "Both! You don't appear in stories here and if you did they'd be off-topic." "Our author doesn't think so," said Morgan smugly. "He's going to repost some of his old WHO/TREK crossovers a chapter a week - but the KING ARTHUR IN TIME AND SPACE versions." "Starting next Friday," said Arthur, "since Pentecost is the big annual feast at Camelot." "Damn!" swore the Valeyard. For a moment he'd thought he was getting another shot at the villainship of the author's Peri arc, but this was just one of his announcement TTRs. "You're just honked off because you're not in them," said Morgan. That too. "Even if I was," complained the Valeyard, "I'd just get replaced with the Sherriff of Nottingham or someone." "Actually," Arthur started, "the Sherriff's analog is -" "What makes him think he can do that?" "He feels they aren't so transformed as to be off-topic," said Morgan, "yet transformed enough to be interesting as themselves." "The DOCTOR WHO universe with a twist," said Arthur. "Like Badlands." "That's DOCTOR WHO in a knot," said Morgan. "Plus it's been years since the original versions were last reposted," said Arthur. "We'll see about this!" the Valeyard declared. He waved to someone at the other end of the bar. "You! Come over here!" When this party finished making his way through the crowd he turned out to be the Master. "Yes?" The Valeyard pointed to Arthur and Morgan. "These two are trying to take over the newsgroup!" "Morgan!" said the Master, delighted. "I haven't seen you in awhile!" "You'll be seeing more of me soon," said Morgan coyly. "Wonderful. Your place or mine?" "My CAVE is right here." She left her barstool to lead the Master through a door in the back wall which the Valeyard could've sworn hadn't been there yesterday and which he could never find again. He watched them go, feeling an apopolexy coming on. "What do you suppose his intentions are toward my sister?" Arthur asked him. FIN Summary for archivist: Humor, TTR; KING ARTHUR IN TIME AND SPACE crossover The Valeyard, King Arthur, Morgan le Fey, the Master Camelot vanquishes the Valeyard. -- Paul Gadzikowski http://members.iglou.com/scarfman: King Arthur in Time and Space - The Daily Cartoons - DOCTOR WHO, STAR TREK, scarfman@iglou.com BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, M*A*S*H - Archy the Cockroach - New material weekly