by Paul Gadzikowski
Bits of this work may derive from properties of the BBC, Fox,
Paramount, et al., but it's non-profit and in no way intrudes on
their markets.
THIS TIME ROUND concept by Tyler Dion, after Kielle

It was the annual Season Finale party at Friday night crossover poker at
This Time Round. The tavern was stuffed with non-WHO characters, most of them
eligible for invitation thanks to the present author. Cwej was trying to
persuade the BUFFY girls that, since their lame duck network was billing
theirs as "the WB series finale", they were obliged to participate in the
Series Finale Wet Underwear Contest. Captain Janeway joined the argument on
his side in hopes of being spared herself. Anya talked Xander into taking
Janeway's place and everyone was happy but Cris, and perhaps Xander.
Yet, somehow, the focus of our semi-omniscient narration is elsewhere.
"Who the hell are you, anyway?" demanded the Valeyard.
The crowd of visitors had forced many of the regular, genuinely WHO
customers to sit or even stand at the bar. The area was jammed with the
familiar faces of companions, recurring villains and even favorite
single-appearance supporting characters - except for the two people at the
Valeyard's left. He didn't recognize them, but if they'd been crossover
characters they'd've been on the makeshift stage with Francois commandeering
their clothes and hosing them down.
The man in some kind of space service uniform just smiled apologetically
in response to the Valeyard's inquiry, but the small woman in skintight green
said, "He's Arthur Pendragon, High King of all British space. And I'm his
half-sister Morgan le Fey the time-traveling sorceress."
"Yeah?" retorted the Valeyard. "How'd you get in here?"
"We drop by, once in awhile," said Arthur.
"I know you now," sneered the Valeyard. "You don't belong here."
"The tavern, or the newsgroup?" Arthur asked ingenuously.
"Both! You don't appear in stories here and if you did they'd be
"Our author doesn't think so," said Morgan smugly. "He's going to repost
some of his old WHO/TREK crossovers a chapter a week - but the KING ARTHUR IN
TIME AND SPACE versions."
"Starting next Friday," said Arthur, "since Pentecost is the big annual
feast at Camelot."
"Damn!" swore the Valeyard. For a moment he'd thought he was getting
another shot at the villainship of the author's Peri arc, but this was just
one of his announcement TTRs.
"You're just honked off because you're not in them," said Morgan. That
"Even if I was," complained the Valeyard, "I'd just get replaced with
the Sherriff of Nottingham or someone."
"Actually," Arthur started, "the Sherriff's analog is -"
"What makes him think he can do that?"
"He feels they aren't so transformed as to be off-topic," said Morgan,
"yet transformed enough to be interesting as themselves."
"The DOCTOR WHO universe with a twist," said Arthur. "Like Badlands."
"That's DOCTOR WHO in a knot," said Morgan.
"Plus it's been years since the original versions were last reposted,"
said Arthur.
"We'll see about this!" the Valeyard declared. He waved to someone at
the other end of the bar. "You! Come over here!"
When this party finished making his way through the crowd he turned out
to be the Master. "Yes?"
The Valeyard pointed to Arthur and Morgan. "These two are trying to take
over the newsgroup!"
"Morgan!" said the Master, delighted. "I haven't seen you in awhile!"
"You'll be seeing more of me soon," said Morgan coyly.
"Wonderful. Your place or mine?"
"My CAVE is right here." She left her barstool to lead the Master
through a door in the back wall which the Valeyard could've sworn hadn't been
there yesterday and which he could never find again. He watched them go,
feeling an apopolexy coming on.
"What do you suppose his intentions are toward my sister?" Arthur asked


Summary for archivist:
The Valeyard, King Arthur, Morgan le Fey, the Master
Camelot vanquishes the Valeyard.

Paul Gadzikowski King Arthur in Time
and Space - The Daily Cartoons - DOCTOR WHO, STAR TREK, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, M*A*S*H - Archy the
Cockroach - New material weekly