Right, well, I posted this to the PMEB, and they seemed to like it, so I thought I'd post it here as well. This version is slightly revised. Doctor Who belongs to the BBC, The This Time Round was the idea of Tyler Dion, and I've nicked everything else from other people as well, for I have no originality. Apologies to the Real People [tm] involved. This Time Round: Ladies' Night ============================== Random_C@espace.demon.co.uk It's been mentioned before that Thursday night in the This Time Round is Authors' Night. The PMEB requested a ladies' night, and as they were standing behind Alryssa of Gallifrey (doing her best Ivanova), nobody had dared say no. So, by the stage in the corner, about 100 of the women (one a redhead in a wedding dress) were watching a slim man in blue and white stripy boxers, apparently playing Jung. None of them had as yet noticed a plot, or indeed, any other characters. Or the fact that Jung looked nothing like that and had less of a Liverpool accent. A man in a green waistcoat was trying to get the attention of the redhead, and failing. He stopped juggling and trudged off. Across the bar, occasional shouts of "Compost Corner!" came from the group surrounding a man standing in a bucket, who was dressed as a flower and being examined by a two seventies children's television presenters. Jamie was quite happy about the fact that two delightful American ladies had been buying his drinks all evening, and would have been even happier if he could remember where he was or why. Or whose hand that was. A slim blonde carrying a medical bag had been cornered by another small group, and was somewhat more flustered by it than the fourth Doctor, who was tied up in his own scarf by the pinball table. By the cigarette machine, the second Doctor was performing magic tricks for Xena, and Gabrielle was busily falling in love with everything that moved, unfortunately including three of the group of gay men who were there so Peri could talk to men whose eyes didn't keep wandering down. Adric was standing on his own by the gents loos, nursing a pink cocktail with a huge dollop of cream on top, a selection of exotic fruit and two small sparklers sticking out of it.[1] The 6th Doctor had been sampling the bar food, until another of the group suggested perhaps he'd be able to think of a better use for the Philadelphia in the burger. Mel wandered up to the bar, looking for the usual barman. Instead, a tall thin man appeared, and tried not to notice what was going on under the table the third Doctor was sitting at. "Can I help you?" he asked in a New Zealand accent, his voice surprisingly deep. Mel grinned, evilly. "Low fat crisps please. You know about computers, got any new hardware I might be interested in?" He suddenly wished he hadn't just sold the last jar of chocolate sauce to the chap with the unconvincing scottish accent. As he bent over to get the crisps, Mel pinched his bottom. "Seems hard enough to me." Then he noticed the pastel Daleks attempting to play darts. Mistress Mel leapt over the bar, threw him over her shoulder and ran off, the Daleks trundling after, complaining that they'd not finished their game. Next out the door was green waistcoat man, taking directions from the redhead he was carrying, as he was buried under a quantity of netting and silk. A thin girl with short blonde hair wandered in, did a double-take at the man on the stage, and tried to get a drink. She failed. "I'll tell *them* where you're hiding!" she stage-whispered, and a hand appeared from under the bar with a glass of something green and fizzing. She sniffed it. "That's just lemonade with food colouring in it. He's over here girls!" That was the last ladies night at the Last Time Round, strangely enough. The next morning, a new sign was hung beside the door. "No more than three PMEB members allowed in this bar at one time. All spillages and breakages will be paid for." -- [1] "Bajoran Aura" The favourite drink of someone I don't like very much.