***** The Bartender's Lament by Diane Brendan A This Time Round: To Die For poem ***** I used to love her, back before they twisted her, made her into something else. I used to wish I could tell her that, find a way to say the words, Instead of standing in the corner, Watching from afar, Wishing for something out of reach. I hoped to one day find The strength to relax and not Make of myself an ass. But I never could, Not when it would Still have mattered. She used to be friendly, Willing to try to help When I desperately needed it. But they got to her, just Like they get to Everyone Else. In some ways I'm glad I never tried, considering What she has become. Yet... Sometimes I find myself Wishing still for a kind smile, Even if it wasn't genuine; A moment to pretend, A moment to feign, Some semblance of hope; An instant to visualize What it might be like To not be alone anymore.