LETTER OF THE LAW 1/1 TTR by Paul Gadzikowski DOCTOR WHO series characters and concepts copyright BBC tv THIS TIME ROUND concept by Tyler Dion, after Kielle KING ARTHUR IN TIME AND SPACE is all mine. "A part time job?" "It's impossible to be evil to any *lasting* effect outside continuity," said the Master; "our dear Nyssa is demonstation of that. If I cannot be evil in TTR, I can at least be officious." "But ..." stammered Adric, serving the sable-swathed villain his dry martini, "... Polly's assistant?" "In her duties prosecuting the rule against non-WHO characters in TTR unless they've appeared in an adwc crossover, yes." "But there *is* no such rule. Polly just thinks there is." The Master shrugged. "Then my participation is that much closer to true evil." The incredulous confusion on Adric's face which had been the Master's immediate goal was just settling in when the boy was distracted by someone entering the bar. The Master swore silently to himself. His moment spoilt by the boy's Tranekite-induced paranoia ... but what was this? The deer-in-headlights look gone just as quickly, replaced by a frown, replaced by revelation, replaced by in quick succession a furtive look at the Master then an abrupt expression of oops-he-was-watching-all-along. The Master's eyebrows shot off their smugness salvo after all before he turned to see who Dead Boy had spotted. It was an odd pair. One was a tall skinny blonde, in the Doctor's costume from the Red Nose Day bit; but not Doctor Thirteen (one had only to take in the lack of cleavage to realize). The other was a bearded man of about forty-five, an obvious space-service veteran, wearing what was only barely not William Shatner's STAR TREK movie uniform. "And so to work," said the Master to Adric, finishing his martini and setting off to find Polly. "... So he wants to start posting to adwc more than just pointers to his website again," said King Arthur to the two young people he and Nimue had joined at their table. "Such as 'King Arthur in Time and Space' versions of comic-strip format WHO/TREK crossovers," explained Nimue. "His feeling, based on recent precedent," said King Arthur, "is that they aren't too far derived from DOCTOR WHO to be off-topic here." "Can't argue with that," said Ember Ashe. "Well, why not just post'em then?" Coyote asked, in a monotone that suggested he didn't really care. "Why announce it in a shamelessly self-referential TTR piece first?" "Shameless self-reference is what he writes TTR for," said Nimue. "Plus," said King Arthur, "he had a framing gag that had to go first to be effective -" "Excuse me." The four looked up to find Polly addressing them with the Master at her elbow, cracking his knuckles like a stripjoint bouncer. "Is there a problem?" King Arthur asked. Polly looked at King Arthur and Nimue. "There is a rule here disallowing non-DOCTOR WHO characters who haven't yet appeared in a crossover on adwc." "If you can't show you're entitled to be here you'll be asked to leave." On the word "asked" the Master simultaneously cracked all the knuckles of his right hand through the expedient of balling it into a fist and punching his left palm. King Arthur nodded to Nimue, who produced a computer printout. "Here," she said, "I was in this author's last TTR." "And I'm with her," added King Arthur helpfully. The Master sneered as Polly took the printout, "That doesn't count. Are you going to come quietly? Please don't." "Everything seems to be in order," said Polly, handing the printout back. "Thanks for your cooperation." "What?" said the Master. "What?!" he repeated, scurrying after her retreating back. "You're not serious!" Polly shrugged. "She's right. She's been in a crossover on adwc before." "A TTR piece!" "The rule doesn't say the previous crossover can't be a TTR piece." "But that piece broke the rule!" "She's still not breaking it now." "She didn't even have any lines in that! The focus was on her boytoy!" "Is that a pun?" asked Polly. (You'd have to have just read it.) The Master said something TV-MA and stomped back to the bar, where Adric wisely already had another martini prepared and wisely served it silently. "Bad day at the office?" came a low feminine voice from the next stool. "It's impossible to do evil around here!" barked the Master as he turned, then fell silent as he got an eyeful of his fellow barfly. She was a petite woman with long straight black hair, and her tight green one-piece outfit defied any further application to her of the word "fellow". "I don't believe I've had the pleasure?" said the Master, retroactively intending the double entendre. "Morgan le Fey, of 'King Arthur in Time and Space'," said the newcomer. "I get your lines." "Indeed?" The Master raised one eyebrow, retroactively making her statement a double entendre. She nodded slowly, smiling, and said, "Perhaps we can go to my place, and be evil ..." "I knew it could be done somehow," said the Master. THE END