Mary, Mary Sue, we love you...
"And you will mention my understated elegance?" asked the third Doctor as he handed over another pint of Spitfire. The author smiled in reply before sighing deeply as Tegan massaged his neck delicately.
"I think they should be reminded of my sensitivity," she whispered.
"Give up, you two," said Peri. "I know what he's after."
The author turned. Peri held a large chocolate milkshake and a pile of pretentious Godard videos.
"Would you like a decent costume?" the author hazarded, picking up his trench.
Peri proffered the milkshake. The author wept.
"I knew this Mary Sue thing would be fun."