My own followup to Vicky's 'Position Vacant'... THEN DO THAT OVER: PERDITION VACANT "She's the one the Master wrote to us about," Hedin explained to his fellow School Board members. "I've provided each of you with copies of his letter." Nods all around the table. "So," said Thalia, speaking for the Board, "why do you want to take the job of Headmistress at our school, Miss Harlow?" The lanky blonde eyed the Time Lady up and down for an insolent moment before answering. "I like liquor and whores," she growled. "Those cost money and I ain't got none, so I reckon I'll need a job when I'm Outside." "Your candor is... refreshing," said Zorac approvingly. "My _what's_ refreshin'?" Harlow demanded, dropping a hand to a pistol butt. "He means that you're very plainspoken," Hedin intervened, "and we like that." "Oh." The gunfighter subsided, but didn't lose the sullen expression. "Now, where the Master lists your qualifications, he mentions that you've killed over five hundred men," Thalia continued. "Could you elaborate on that?" Harlow shrugged. "Shot most of 'em in battle. Stabbed or lynched a few others. And that's just the number of _men_, not the number of _people_ I killed. That's a fair bit higher." "You're saying you've killed women and children?" asked Zorac. "Yeah." Flavia winced. "How can you shoot children?" "Aim low." "I mean, how can you justify so many killings?" "I ain't never killed nobody that didn't deserve killin'," the blonde replied. "Just so happens, ever'body I ever met deserves it." "Have you any previous teaching experience?" Thalia wondered. Lysbeth Harlow smirked. "Miss Peri Brown's learned a few lessons from me." Approving murmurs and tick-marks on forms amongst the School Board. There was a flurry of hushed discussion, then Thalia leaned forward, rubbing her chin. "Miss Harlow," she began, "I will be frank with you. This board has advertised for a top-level administrator who can effectively coordinate the efforts of skilled educators and can build a working relationship with the existing administration, which is to say with Assistant Headmaster Maxil. You, Miss Harlow, seem to be a brutal, hate-filled sociopath with a propensity for lethal violence on little or no pretext and whose work history is composed largely of guerrilla warfare and murderous rampages. I cannot help but feel that Assistant Headmaster Maxil would find you a wholly unsuitable superior and would implement your orders solely out of fear for his life. It is therefore my assessment that you be offered the job of Wells High School Headmistress immediately. Is there any dissent?" she asked the Board. "She'll keep those little bastards in line!" chirped Zorac. "A firm and murderous hand will do them good." "I can't wait to see the look on Maxil's face," Flavia snickered. "I told you she'd be the ideal administrator," agreed Hedin. Thalia slid the contract across the table, along with a pen. "Then, if you will just read and sign this, you will become the guiding force of the most prestigious educational facility in all of Outside, Miss Harlow. Or should I say, _Headmistress_ Harlow." Lysbeth took the contact in hand, but merely blinked at it... while holding it upside-down. "Er, if you'd just sign there at the bottom," Thalia prompted. After a long and awkward moment, the gunfighter clutched the pen in her fist and marked a crude 'X' on the page, then skimmed it back. "Ummm, yes," said Thalia, eyeing the scrawl. "Tell us, Miss Harlow, you... you _can_ read and write, can't you?" Harlow shook her head. "Not a lick. Why? Is that important or somethin'?" Thalia just groaned and tossed the contract over her shoulder. "Next!" --BKWillis 'Doctor Who' is property of the BBC. 'Then Do That Over' concept by Paul Gadzikowski.