Mickey / Narrator [vo] :
The day was just breaking when Watson woke to find Holmes standing by his bedside. Um, her bedside.

Rose / Watson [drowsily] :
Five more minutes, please, mum.

Susan / Holmes :
Wakey, wakey. I've searched the lawn and the bike sheds already. Now we need to make a start on the moor.

Rose / Watson :
What, all of it? [She yawns, and pulls the covers over her head.]

Susan / Holmes [pulling the covers off] :
Come on, rise and shine. There's cocoa ready in the next room. If you don't come and drink it it'll get cold.

Rose / Watson :
How thoughtful of you.

[Lower Gill Moor. Susan / Holmes, dressed in ulster and deerstalker, is striding along the edge of a peat bog. Rose / Watson, wearing a heavy woollen suit, an overcoat, and a bowler hat, is reluctantly tagging along behind.]

Rose / Watson :
Got anything?

Susan / Holmes :
Only more animal tracks. Any idea what?

Rose / Watson :
I dunno. Sheep? Cow? Goat?

Susan / Holmes :
Do you think it could be a puma? Or perhaps a gigantic hound?

Rose / Watson :
No idea. Look, I grew up in London. Until I was seven I thought they made milk in a machine in the corner shop. Why do you think I know anything about the country?

Susan / Holmes :
You've got nineteen years' experience living on Earth. The longest I was ever here for was three months.

Rose / Watson :
Well, I haven't a clue what sort of creature it was. Does it matter?

Susan / Holmes :
Probably not. Let's carry on. Isn't this exhilarating?

Rose / Watson :
I don't think my shoes are up to this. My feet are getting wetter all the time.

[Another part of the moor. Holmes and Watson are still following the edge of the bog.]

Rose / Watson :
Here's a bike track.

Susan / Holmes :
Yes, but it doesn't match. Look. [She produces a notepad.] I got Aveling, the maths master, to draw the pattern of Heidegger's tyres. They're completely different.

Rose / Watson :
The maths master goes around drawing what tyres everyone's got on their bike? That's one weird hobby. [She looks around the moor.] I suppose there isn't much to do out here on a Saturday night, but even so.

Susan / Holmes :
Believe me, where I come from, he'd fit in seamlessly. Everyone on Jewel spends all their time classifying the most trivial things.

Rose / Watson :
Your home planet's called Jewel?

Susan / Holmes :
Yes. Didn't Grandfather tell you?

Rose / Watson :
No. He never said what its name was. Never. [She is briefly lost in thought.] So if it isn't the German bloke's bike, whose is it? The boy's?

Susan / Holmes :
Maybe, but nobody at the school seemed to think he had one. Anyway, whoever it was, they were going away from the school.

Rose / Watson :
How d'you know?

Susan / Holmes :
Look. This is the back wheel, and this is the front wheel. The back wheel crosses over the front one. So it was heading away from the school.

"That doesn't make sense," piped up the little Fifth Doctor. "If you just see the trails crisscrossing over the bike could have been going either way."

"But you can still tell which way it was going," the baby Third said. "'Cos it would look different depending if it was going uphill or downhill."

"But there isn't a hill," the little Sixth said. "It's flat."

"'Tisn't."

"'Tis."

"Quiet!" Mickey held up his hands. "Look, we can sort all this out after the story's finished."

"I'll show you," little Third muttered. "Has anyone got a bike?"

Susan / Holmes :
Let's see if this goes anywhere.

[She follows the track back towards the school, Rose / Watson a little way behind her.

After a little while, the two reappear.]

Rose / Watson :
So much for that. Lost it in the wood.

Susan / Holmes :
Well, the likelihood is that it came from the school. I suppose Heidegger could have changed his tyres to throw us off the scent. Let's keep looking.

[They walk on.]

[Even further along the edge of the morass.]

Susan / Holmes :
Aha! Another bicycle track. And this time the pattern matches.

Rose / Watson :
Oh, great.

Susan / Holmes :
Are you all right?

Rose / Watson :
Yeah. It's just, well, all I get to do is follow you round and stand about in the cold with wet feet.

Susan / Holmes :
I'm sorry. I don't think it can be helped. Let's see where this track leads.

Rose / Watson :
Straight into a bog. I really wish I had wellies on.

[They begin to pick their way across the bog, keeping clear of the tyre tracks.]

[Another part of the moor. Clumps of gorse and heather are prominent.]

Rose / Watson :
Looks like he fell off the bike here. Must've slipped.

Susan / Holmes :
I think it's more serious than that. Look at these bloodstains.

Rose / Watson :
Eurgh.

Susan / Holmes :
Let's keep going. [They continue to follow the marks.] The thing is, there aren't any other footprints or tyre marks. Only these animal tracks, whatever they are. Perhaps he was attacked by a lion.

Rose / Watson :
There aren't any lions round here.

Susan / Holmes :
Are you sure?

Rose / Watson :
It's cold and wet and there's nothing for them to eat. Talking of which, did you bring any sandwiches?

Susan / Holmes :
No. Why, are you hungry?

Rose / Watson :
I'm starving. All I've had today is a cup of cocoa.

Susan / Holmes :
Oh. Sorry. But look at these tracks. They're going all over the place.

Rose / Watson :
Hang on. There's something metal in that bush.

[She points at a clump of gorse.]

Susan / Holmes :
That's the bicycle! [She reaches into the gorse and tries to pull it out.] Could you give me a hand?

Rose / Watson :
OK. [She reaches in.] Ow. Horrible prickly stuff. OK, I've got it.

[They pull the bicycle out. The front of it is smeared with blood. Watson, looking pale, swallows hard.]

Rose / Watson :
'Scuse me a moment. I need a breath of air.

[She heads round the edge of the gorse, and suddenly disappears from view with a shriek.]

Susan / Holmes :
Are you all right?

[Watson's head pops up.]

Rose / Watson :
Yeah, I just tripped over a tree root. [She looks down.] Actually, it isn't a root. It's a leg... Holmes, you need to see this. Right now.

[Holmes joins her among the bushes.]

Susan / Holmes :
That has to be the German master. Are you going to examine the body?

Rose / Watson [looking nauseous] :
Do I have to?

Susan / Holmes :
Well, you are supposed to be the one with medical training.

Rose / Watson :
Here goes, then.

[She disappears from view, then reappears a little later.]

Rose / Watson [swaying, and even paler] :
Someone smashed his... his skull in for him. It's a miracle he managed to keep going as long as he did.

Susan / Holmes :
It is a little difficult to know what to do, Watson. We can't afford to lose any more time, but we need to tell the police about this.

Rose / Watson :
Tell you what. I'll go back to the school, let them know, and perhaps get a bite to eat. And you can carry on the investigation.

Susan / Holmes :
No, I might need your assistance. Wait a bit! There is a fellow cutting peat up yonder. Bring him over here, and he will guide the police.

[Watson departs. Holmes crouches down to make her own examination of the body. After a while, Watson returns, accompanied by Light, who is dressed in a glittering interpretation of a peasant's smock, and surrounded by his usual golden glow.]

Light :
For what reason have you distracted me from my study of the local ecosystem?

Susan / Holmes :
This man has been killed. I need you to go to the school and tell Doctor Huxtable to send for the police?

Light [with a fey smile] :
There is no need for that. I have the police here.

[He holds up a tureen.]

Rose / Watson :
You've got the police in that? Is it bigger on the inside or something?

Light :
No.

Rose / Watson :
Then how can it have the police in it? The only way you'd get anyone in there's with a blender...

[Light nods, grinning madly.]

Rose / Watson :
Holmes, this bloke's a nutter.

Susan / Holmes :
We still need the police. [To Light, firmly.] Non-liquefied police. Will you please go and get them?

Light [setting the tureen down, and spreading his arms beatifically] :
But of course.

[In a blue-white flash, he is gone.]

Susan / Holmes :
Now, Watson. We have picked up two clues this morning. One of them is the bicycle with the Palmer tyre, and we see what that has led to. The other is the bicycle with the patched Dunlop. Before we start to investigate that, let us try to realise what we do know so as to make the most of it.

Rose / Watson :
Well, I now know what it feels like when you're up to your knees in a peat bog. And what it's like to have gorse prickles sticking in you every time you move. Can we at least get out of these bushes?

Susan / Holmes :
I suppose that wouldn't do any harm.

[They come out of the bushes.]

Rose / Watson [removing gorse spines from her clothes] :
That's better.

Susan / Holmes :
About the crime we're investigating.

Rose / Watson :
Oh, yeah, that.

Susan / Holmes :
Now, Lord Saltire left fully-clothed, so he'd planned for it in advance. But the German master was just wearing a jacket and trousers over his night-shirt. He must have seen the boy leaving, given chase and been killed.

Rose / Watson :
With you so far.

Susan / Holmes :
He gave chase on a bicycle. He wouldn't do that if the lad was on foot.

Rose / Watson :
So the kid must've been on the other bike.

Susan / Holmes :
Let us continue. Five miles from the school, he met his death, so it took him that long to catch up with Lord Saltire. And he was killed by a savage blow that a young lad couldn't possibly have dealt, so the boy must have had a companion. But apart from the marks of his tyres and a few animal tracks, there's no sign that anyone was here.

Rose / Watson :
Perhaps he fell off the bike and hit his head on a stone.

Susan / Holmes :
There aren't any. It's all just peat and gorse and heather. I've never seen such a squashy landscape.

Rose / Watson :
Yeah. I think I've trodden in most of it, too.

Susan / Holmes :
Perhaps the lad went off with someone on a hovercraft...

Rose / Watson :
They haven't been invented yet.

Susan / Holmes :
And everyone at the school would have been woken by the sound of the engine. Oh, well. Let's follow the other bicycle and see where—

[With another flash, Light reappears.]

Light :
I have delivered my message. [He points at the bush where the body is] Is that specimen now surplus to requirements? I wish to dismantle it.

Rose / Watson :
No!

Susan / Holmes :
Really, you're nothing but trouble. Even a caveman wouldn't have been this vexing. But while you're here, can you answer a question for me?

Light :
Yes?

Susan / Holmes :
What sort of creature left these tracks?

Light :
Cows. Hateful animals, adapting to serve the needs of humans. They shall perish along with all life on this miserable planet.

Susan / Holmes :
Thank you. You can go back to your peat-cutting now.

[Light vanishes again.]

Susan / Holmes :
Now, let's follow the other bicycle and see where that leads us.