The whole idea of Psycho Nyssa and the This Time Around is a majorly
marvelous invention of a group of posters on alt.drwho.creative and you
should really find an archive and read their stories becausIntroduction:
This isn't so much a "Psycho Nyssa" story as a Fifth Doctor story with
Psycho Nyssa and Whimpy Adric in it. Tyler Dion created the "This Time
Around." My sincere apologies for temporarily trashing the place. :-)
By Tony Velasquez
The Fifth Doctor had taken Psycho Nyssa and Adric for an
adventure. He was hoping that if he got them together for an adventure they
might learn to get along a little better. The Fifth Doctor took them to a
planet in the distant past, the planet of Votrax where the evil Myallix were
going to invade the peace-loving Trillix. The Myallix were huge hulking
squid-like creatures and had many powers both technological and psionic.
Their fleet had over five thousand ships and the shadows cast by it eclipsed
all of Vortax.
"This should take at least six episodes!" said the Fifth Doctor to
Adric and Nyssa who were standing around the console in an uneasy truce.
He then went back into the TARDIS for his sonic screwdriver and some vital
equipment: a yo-yo, a bag of jelly babies, and a piece of green string.
Nyssa stormed off to her room, returning within a few minutes to find Adric
polishing the TARDIS' control panel with something out of a little plastic
bottle. Nyssa's eyes bugged out; it was her leg wax!
The Fifth Doctor was thrown to the floor and the TARDIS rocked
back and forth. He ran to the control room screaming "Nyssa! Adric!" The
main door was open. He ran out into the world beyond. The sky was full
of burning craft, evaporating in Vortax's thick atmosphere. Adric was no
where to be seen, but Nyssa was standing with a smile on her radiant face.
The peaceful Trillix leader walked up "Doctor! You've done it! You've
saved our world!" The Doctor was baffled. Adric winked back into existence
and stamped into the TARDIS.
"I said I was sorry... I didn't know." He mumbled to Nyssa, not even
looking up at her.
"Nyssa..." said the Fifth Doctor quietly, standing behind her.
"I'm afraid I just sort of psyched out there. Can we go back to
the This Time Around?" said Nyssa sweetly.
The fifth doctor's TARDIS materialized in the same spot as all the other
Doctor's TARDIS'. They did this for the mind-boggling effect it caused on
their friends and because it was easier for them to find their TARDIS if
they left them all in the same spot.
"Well, that's finished...," said the Fifth Doctor petulantly.
"Doctor, Look!" cried out Adric pointing to the console. Nyssa twitched.
She hated how he sounded like Robin from 'Batman and Robin' when he yelled
things like that.
There was a light blinking on the TARDIS console. The light was
"Looks like there's going to be trouble!" cried Adric.
"Oh please, Doctor..." sobbed Nyssa plaintively, "Let me kill him
"No, Nyssa. You must learn to live with these awful jokes and
hideous puns. Although I must admit, the situation is provoking." Sighed
The Fifth Doctor, Nyssa and Adric walked down the path across the
large clearing, over the stone bridge and through the woods. Nyssa and
Adric were far too busy to listen to him anyway. They kept pushing each
other, uttering epithets under their breath between them.
And so on...
Finally, they broke out of the woods and were standing before the
This Time Around. They all stopped in shock and horror. The This Time
Around had been redecorated. It was colored in all manner of confusing
primary colors: yellow, red, bright blue. It looked like a bunch of
psychedelic hippies had gone mad on the place. Out front there were
old-fashioned automobiles parked. There was a '57 T-Bird, a '65 Mustang,
and a Ford Edsel with a license plate reading "Dodo's."
"Doctor!" cried out Nyssa and Adric in unison, shocked.
"Um, C'mon, not a second to loose. Must check and see if
everyone's all right."
The trio dashed in through the doors. They had been replaced with
panels of cheap glass and wide grooved metal edgings. They burst in and
instantly covered their ears. "Rock Around The Clock" was blasting over
the PA system.
The Doctor, Nyssa and Adric stood agape. All their friends were
there, but horribly changed. All the men had slicked back hair, with about
a ton of brylcream in it. The women all had tight sweaters and knee-length
skirts that seemed constantly flapping up to reveal things. Ace rolled up
on a pair of roller-skates, a grotesque bright primary-colored cardboard hat
on her head.
"Hey! It's the number five daddy-O!" she cried and everyone
turned around and cheered. The Doctor shook his head and gently moved
around Ace, chewing an enormous wad of gum noisily. He regarded the
brightly colored people. There was Ian, in a leather letterman's jacket.
Nyssa stood, her hands clasped at her mouth, scared beyond the capacity for
rational thought. Adric shifted to hide behind her. But he doubted that
even a psycho of her caliber could protect him from what was going on here.
The Fifth Doctor saw the Sixth Doctor sitting in the corner with a
penguin. The Sixth Doctor glared at the crowd and every now and then
yelled out an insult.
"What's going on around here?" said number five.
"Where have you been? It's about time you show up. Dragging
your sorry buns in here. Look at them all. I used to be the only one with
any dress sense around here!" number six screamed, indicating his garish and
obscene multicolored outfit. "Now everyone is getting into the act... and
they can't dance either!" he screamed, yelling the last reference out toward
"He is just so un-hip!" giggled Leela at the next table, now in
a gingham dress and her hair done in ponytails.
"Yeah, like, he is the most uncool cat in the whole place." Said
Harry beside her, looking absolutely ridiculous in a black leather jacket
and bright red slacks
The music faded away and someone took the stage. A young man
with greased back red hair and a weird outfit that contained a bolo tie.
He began to serenade a young woman in a big yellow skirt and tight red
sweater. She had kit gloves on, and bobby socks, and a huge white band in
her dark hair which was all done up. Her hands were clasped and resting on
her chin as she regarded the man on stage with adoring eyes. The man on
stage began to sing "Earth Angel" at her. It was Turlough on stage.. and
the woman he was serenading was Tegan.
"Oh Tegan!" screamed Nyssa sobbing. She ran forward "What have
they done to you! What have they done! Oh, please, Tegan! Its me, Nyssa!"
Nyssa clung to her friend, grabbing her by the arm, but Tegan was unmoving,
her eyes locked with Turlough's as he sang "My darling dear, love you for
all time..." The fifth Doctor gently lead Nyssa away.
By this time, Ian, Steven and Jamie had gathered around Adric.
They were heavily greased and had on shiny black leather jackets over garish
"So, what have we got here?"
"Looks like an Adric."
"Wanna kill him?"
Adric staggered back, tipping over Susan on her roller-skates who
was made up like Ace and was serving root beer to everyone. The fifth
Doctor interposed between the greasers and Adric.
"Hello, I'm the Doctor."
"So, you're this little jerk's Doctor?" said Ian.
"Yes, quite, and I'll just take him away, if you don't mind."
"But we do mind." Growled Jamie. The Doctor stopped trying to
chat with them and just pulled Adric away. The greasers almost followed
them but decided to help Susan up instead.
"Doctor, what are we going to do?!?" cried out Adric. Nyssa was
still watching Tegan getting serenaded by Turlough, dressed up as some Donna
"Doctor, we must help Tegan! Please! I can't leave her like
"C'mon, lets run to the basement." Said the Doctor.
"Good place to hide things in, basements." Said the seventh Doctor,
suddenly walking by and tipping his hat.
"Yes, like he said, hurry!"
The trio began to shuffle down the stairs to the basement.
Suddenly, something hit the fifth Doctor on the back of the head, sending
him crashing down the stairs. Nyssa and Adric managed to get out of his
way as he fell down. His head played the stairs like a xylophone on the
"Now, that tune had rhythm..." mumbled Nyssa, wishing it had been
Adric instead of the Doctor who got hit so she could show evil delight.
"Doctor!" cried Nyssa, truly concerned.
"Look, he's fallen down the stairs!" cried Adric, squatting next
to him. Nyssa looked up and glared at him. This was really just getting
too much. "The thing that hit him almost looked like a red question mark
at the end of an umbrella handle too." Continued Adric but Nyssa wasn't
"So, Adric... alone at last." She cooed, arching her eyebrows.
"Yes, I know." Barked Adric ignoring her. "We must figure out
what is going on ourselves!" He ran off into the dark basement.
Nyssa let out a strange cry of frustration and smashed her hand
through a nearby pylon at the end of the staircase. It shattered into a
million pieces but her lovely little hand was completely unscathed.
"What's wrong with you now?" said Adric, running back to where she
"Oh nothing... a spider. Big one. C'mon then. The Doctor has
begin to babble about that Zodin again. He'll be out for some time."
Adric and Nyssa stole into the gloomy Basement. Luckily, it had
been spared the 'redecoration' that occurred upstairs and was a nice
battleship gray, complete with leaking cement, brushed steel and lots of
corridors. Adric peered around the corner of a corridor and saw the
center of the basement. All corridors met here and in the center was a
strange device. Adric suddenly screamed and snatched back his hand.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Was that your hand? I thought it was a door
handle." Cooed Nyssa, batting her eyelashes at him. Adric glared at her.
What was getting into this psycho. He then thought she was getting
excited about being able to kill him when the problem was solved. He was
dead wrong, as usual.
"C'mon!" he growled, running forward. Nyssa and Adric jogged
forward bravely. The device was some sort of futuristic VCR attached to a
complex machine of some sort.
"Don't touch it." Said a voice. There was the fifth Doctor,
nursing his head, staggering forward.
"Doctor! You're better!" cried out Nyssa, running to the Doctor
and looking at his head.
"I see you two have managed to find the RetroPsychrometer without
ripping each other's throats out." Said the Doctor, wincing as Nyssa took
out a handkerchief and began to dab at his forehead with some rubbing
alcohol she had... just in case.
"RetroPsychrometer?" said Adric, waiting for the obligatory
'doctor explains the plot' speech.
"Yes, an invention of the Ancient Gallifreyans. They used it to
set up 'period parties', you know, 'the Roaring 90's', Woodstock 2005, that
sort of thing."
"But it takes over the minds of the participants?" chirped Nyssa.
"Oh no, no. That was the Master's doing. He was well known for
this twisted little modification to the RetroPsychrometer. So hideous was
it that all RetroPsychrometers were destroyed." Said the Doctor striding
forward. He simply turned it off and took out the laser disk labeled
"American Graffiti Ethos."
"Its over. Let's go find the Master, shall we?"
The Fifth Doctor, Nyssa, and Adric ran back out of the maze and up
the stairs. As they ran on, they could hear the sound of a rising din.
There was a considerable commotion happening upstairs. The Fifth Doctor
burst through the door and ducked as a chair smashed into the wall right
next to him. The patrons were back to normal, and extremely angry.
Nyssa and Adric burst through the door. The scene before them
was absolutely chaotic. Ian was wiping his hands through his hair, pulling
out great lumps of brylcream and screaming in rage. Ace was continually
blowing up the jukebox swearing profusely. Leela was back in leathers by
now, not having any qualms about changing right in the middle of the room.
Her knife was deftly cutting the red and white checkerboard tablecloths with
glee. On stage, Tegan was beating Turlough with the stage's microphone,
sending feedback wails squealing over the speakers. Tegan stopped after
awhile as Turlough seemed to be enjoying it.
Adric ran to the bar where some of his friends had gathered for
comfort and protection, and because they were trying to get lots of free
booze before order was reinstated. Nyssa ran over to Tegan, now glaring
down at Turlough.
"You really liked that, didn't you!" tormented Turlough, his eyes
bulging out on stalks.
"You little rat." Tegan raised the microphone.
"Swing Tegan, swing like you know you want to."
"Shut up!" she stuffed the microphone down his throat and turned
"Nyssa! Where have you been?"
"The Doctor has turned off the RetroPsychometer that was making
you all act bizarre." Said Nyssa, hugging Tegan.
"I'm so glad. It was horrible." Drawled Tegan. "This vile little
jerk here almost seduced me!"
"I think it was the other way around, Tegan..." tormented Turlough
in a flat monotone. Tegan swung around and laid him out flat with one punch
as fast as lightning.
"I've got to go help the Doctor find the Master, he's behind all
this you know."
"The Master! I should have thought so." Growled Tegan.
The fifth Doctor was hunting around the This Time Around, looking
for the Master. Every strange looking person he came to, he grabbed their
face and pulled, trying to see if they were just the Master in a cheap
"YEOW!" screamed the Brigadier, "Doctor, what the devil do you
think you're doing?"
"Sorry, Brigadier, it was the eye-patch."
Finally, as Adric and Nyssa caught up with their Doctor, they
heard a man wailing and sobbing in the kitchen. They burst through the
door. It was the Master! He had a chef's hat on and a big white apron
splashed with grease.
"Doctor!" he burst in a wild sob, collapsing on a nearby
countertop. The Doctor walked up to him.
"It made me make cheeseburgers. Nothing but cheeseburgers.
Cheeseburgers! Cheeseburgers Cheeseburgers!" ranted the Master, burying his
sobbing face in his black leather hands.
"So, you weren't behind this evil outrage?" said the Doctor.
"Of course not, do you think .... UG!" Nyssa walked calmly up to
the Master and slipped a huge carving knife between his first and second
"Nyssa! He said he didn't do it! From what I saw, I believe
him." Scolded the Doctor.
"Oh, so do I, Doctor. I just felt like murdering someone." Nyssa
glared over at Adric who hid sheepishly behind the Doctor.
"I wonder what really happened here?" The trio turned around to
where the Master had been. He was gone.
"Bloody contracts." Mumbled Nyssa.
The night was falling dark and murky around the This Time Around
by now. On the edge of the parking lot's lighting there stood a man.
Middle aged, dressed in a dark suit with a dark greatcoat. He regarded the
pub for a long time, smoking a cigarette. The cigarette went out and he
quickly threw it aside and lit another one.
"You did well." Said a voice behind him.
"Did you get enough time?" said the Man who was Smoking a
Cigarette as the author deftly avoided a possible copyright violation.
"I always have enough time. But yes, I was able to defeat the
gods of seven pantheons, destroy two star systems, create another two, build
six hundred of the universe' seven hundred wonders, and oh yes, I had tea at
a wonderful shop on the outskirts of London."
The Man with the Cigarette which was Smoky turned around slowly
and exhaled in the strange little figure's direction. The Other figure was
wearing a dark coat, white hat and had an umbrella in the shape of a
question mark. He was smiling brightly and standing in a dramatic way.
"I'm glad I could help you. Now you shall have to do something
for me..." began the Cigarette Man Smoking, but he vanished in mid-statement.
"And I had time to totally erase you from existence as well."
Continued the Seventh Doctor, his face suddenly dark and grave. He tipped
his hat menacingly at where the Man with the Smoking Cigarette had been, put
his umbrella over his shoulder, and walked toward the This Time Around
This story copyright 1999 by Tony Velasquez (firstname.lastname@example.org) Please
ask before printing out because you ran out of toilet paper. :-)
Doctor Who and all characters in it are copyright the BBC, 1963 to the
The Cigarette Smoking Man is from the X-Files and is copyright Paramount or
FOX or one of those huge mighty movie companies because I'm not sure which
at this hour in the night. And anyway, that guy at the end is just some
bloke who happens to be smoking a cigarette and thinks he's on the same
level of the Seventh Doctor. Really. But I put this here just in case.
The whole idea of Psycho Nyssa and the This Time Around is a majorly
marvelous invention of a group of posters on alt.drwho.creative and you
should really find an archive and read their stories because they're really