The whole idea of Psycho Nyssa and the This Time Around is a majorly marvelous invention of a group of posters on alt.drwho.creative and you should really find an archive and read their stories becausIntroduction: This isn't so much a "Psycho Nyssa" story as a Fifth Doctor story with Psycho Nyssa and Whimpy Adric in it. Tyler Dion created the "This Time Around." My sincere apologies for temporarily trashing the place. :-) ----------------------------------------------------- RetroPunk By Tony Velasquez The Fifth Doctor had taken Psycho Nyssa and Adric for an adventure. He was hoping that if he got them together for an adventure they might learn to get along a little better. The Fifth Doctor took them to a planet in the distant past, the planet of Votrax where the evil Myallix were going to invade the peace-loving Trillix. The Myallix were huge hulking squid-like creatures and had many powers both technological and psionic. Their fleet had over five thousand ships and the shadows cast by it eclipsed all of Vortax. "This should take at least six episodes!" said the Fifth Doctor to Adric and Nyssa who were standing around the console in an uneasy truce. He then went back into the TARDIS for his sonic screwdriver and some vital equipment: a yo-yo, a bag of jelly babies, and a piece of green string. Nyssa stormed off to her room, returning within a few minutes to find Adric polishing the TARDIS' control panel with something out of a little plastic bottle. Nyssa's eyes bugged out; it was her leg wax! The Fifth Doctor was thrown to the floor and the TARDIS rocked back and forth. He ran to the control room screaming "Nyssa! Adric!" The main door was open. He ran out into the world beyond. The sky was full of burning craft, evaporating in Vortax's thick atmosphere. Adric was no where to be seen, but Nyssa was standing with a smile on her radiant face. The peaceful Trillix leader walked up "Doctor! You've done it! You've saved our world!" The Doctor was baffled. Adric winked back into existence and stamped into the TARDIS. "I said I was sorry... I didn't know." He mumbled to Nyssa, not even looking up at her. "Nyssa..." said the Fifth Doctor quietly, standing behind her. "I'm afraid I just sort of psyched out there. Can we go back to the This Time Around?" said Nyssa sweetly. *** The fifth doctor's TARDIS materialized in the same spot as all the other Doctor's TARDIS'. They did this for the mind-boggling effect it caused on their friends and because it was easier for them to find their TARDIS if they left them all in the same spot. "Well, that's finished...," said the Fifth Doctor petulantly. "Doctor, Look!" cried out Adric pointing to the console. Nyssa twitched. She hated how he sounded like Robin from 'Batman and Robin' when he yelled things like that. There was a light blinking on the TARDIS console. The light was labeled "trouble." "Looks like there's going to be trouble!" cried Adric. "Oh please, Doctor..." sobbed Nyssa plaintively, "Let me kill him now?" "No, Nyssa. You must learn to live with these awful jokes and hideous puns. Although I must admit, the situation is provoking." Sighed the Doctor. *** The Fifth Doctor, Nyssa and Adric walked down the path across the large clearing, over the stone bridge and through the woods. Nyssa and Adric were far too busy to listen to him anyway. They kept pushing each other, uttering epithets under their breath between them. "Worm." "Twerp" "Ugly witch" "Canker sore" "Nerd" "Jerk" And so on... *** Finally, they broke out of the woods and were standing before the This Time Around. They all stopped in shock and horror. The This Time Around had been redecorated. It was colored in all manner of confusing primary colors: yellow, red, bright blue. It looked like a bunch of psychedelic hippies had gone mad on the place. Out front there were old-fashioned automobiles parked. There was a '57 T-Bird, a '65 Mustang, and a Ford Edsel with a license plate reading "Dodo's." "Doctor!" cried out Nyssa and Adric in unison, shocked. "Um, C'mon, not a second to loose. Must check and see if everyone's all right." The trio dashed in through the doors. They had been replaced with panels of cheap glass and wide grooved metal edgings. They burst in and instantly covered their ears. "Rock Around The Clock" was blasting over the PA system. The Doctor, Nyssa and Adric stood agape. All their friends were there, but horribly changed. All the men had slicked back hair, with about a ton of brylcream in it. The women all had tight sweaters and knee-length skirts that seemed constantly flapping up to reveal things. Ace rolled up on a pair of roller-skates, a grotesque bright primary-colored cardboard hat on her head. "Hey! It's the number five daddy-O!" she cried and everyone turned around and cheered. The Doctor shook his head and gently moved around Ace, chewing an enormous wad of gum noisily. He regarded the brightly colored people. There was Ian, in a leather letterman's jacket. Nyssa stood, her hands clasped at her mouth, scared beyond the capacity for rational thought. Adric shifted to hide behind her. But he doubted that even a psycho of her caliber could protect him from what was going on here. The Fifth Doctor saw the Sixth Doctor sitting in the corner with a penguin. The Sixth Doctor glared at the crowd and every now and then yelled out an insult. "What's going on around here?" said number five. "Where have you been? It's about time you show up. Dragging your sorry buns in here. Look at them all. I used to be the only one with any dress sense around here!" number six screamed, indicating his garish and obscene multicolored outfit. "Now everyone is getting into the act... and they can't dance either!" he screamed, yelling the last reference out toward the crowd. "He is just so un-hip!" giggled Leela at the next table, now in a gingham dress and her hair done in ponytails. "Yeah, like, he is the most uncool cat in the whole place." Said Harry beside her, looking absolutely ridiculous in a black leather jacket and bright red slacks The music faded away and someone took the stage. A young man with greased back red hair and a weird outfit that contained a bolo tie. He began to serenade a young woman in a big yellow skirt and tight red sweater. She had kit gloves on, and bobby socks, and a huge white band in her dark hair which was all done up. Her hands were clasped and resting on her chin as she regarded the man on stage with adoring eyes. The man on stage began to sing "Earth Angel" at her. It was Turlough on stage.. and the woman he was serenading was Tegan. "Oh Tegan!" screamed Nyssa sobbing. She ran forward "What have they done to you! What have they done! Oh, please, Tegan! Its me, Nyssa!" Nyssa clung to her friend, grabbing her by the arm, but Tegan was unmoving, her eyes locked with Turlough's as he sang "My darling dear, love you for all time..." The fifth Doctor gently lead Nyssa away. By this time, Ian, Steven and Jamie had gathered around Adric. They were heavily greased and had on shiny black leather jackets over garish costumes. "So, what have we got here?" "Looks like an Adric." "Wanna kill him?" "Yep." Adric staggered back, tipping over Susan on her roller-skates who was made up like Ace and was serving root beer to everyone. The fifth Doctor interposed between the greasers and Adric. "Hello, I'm the Doctor." "So, you're this little jerk's Doctor?" said Ian. "Yes, quite, and I'll just take him away, if you don't mind." "But we do mind." Growled Jamie. The Doctor stopped trying to chat with them and just pulled Adric away. The greasers almost followed them but decided to help Susan up instead. "Doctor, what are we going to do?!?" cried out Adric. Nyssa was still watching Tegan getting serenaded by Turlough, dressed up as some Donna Reed reject. "Doctor, we must help Tegan! Please! I can't leave her like that." "C'mon, lets run to the basement." Said the Doctor. "But why?" "Good place to hide things in, basements." Said the seventh Doctor, suddenly walking by and tipping his hat. "Yes, like he said, hurry!" *** The trio began to shuffle down the stairs to the basement. Suddenly, something hit the fifth Doctor on the back of the head, sending him crashing down the stairs. Nyssa and Adric managed to get out of his way as he fell down. His head played the stairs like a xylophone on the way down. "Now, that tune had rhythm..." mumbled Nyssa, wishing it had been Adric instead of the Doctor who got hit so she could show evil delight. "Doctor!" cried Nyssa, truly concerned. "Look, he's fallen down the stairs!" cried Adric, squatting next to him. Nyssa looked up and glared at him. This was really just getting too much. "The thing that hit him almost looked like a red question mark at the end of an umbrella handle too." Continued Adric but Nyssa wasn't paying attention. "So, Adric... alone at last." She cooed, arching her eyebrows. "Yes, I know." Barked Adric ignoring her. "We must figure out what is going on ourselves!" He ran off into the dark basement. Nyssa let out a strange cry of frustration and smashed her hand through a nearby pylon at the end of the staircase. It shattered into a million pieces but her lovely little hand was completely unscathed. "What's wrong with you now?" said Adric, running back to where she was. "Oh nothing... a spider. Big one. C'mon then. The Doctor has begin to babble about that Zodin again. He'll be out for some time." Adric and Nyssa stole into the gloomy Basement. Luckily, it had been spared the 'redecoration' that occurred upstairs and was a nice battleship gray, complete with leaking cement, brushed steel and lots of corridors. Adric peered around the corner of a corridor and saw the center of the basement. All corridors met here and in the center was a strange device. Adric suddenly screamed and snatched back his hand. "Oh, I'm sorry. Was that your hand? I thought it was a door handle." Cooed Nyssa, batting her eyelashes at him. Adric glared at her. What was getting into this psycho. He then thought she was getting excited about being able to kill him when the problem was solved. He was dead wrong, as usual. "C'mon!" he growled, running forward. Nyssa and Adric jogged forward bravely. The device was some sort of futuristic VCR attached to a complex machine of some sort. "Don't touch it." Said a voice. There was the fifth Doctor, nursing his head, staggering forward. "Doctor! You're better!" cried out Nyssa, running to the Doctor and looking at his head. "I see you two have managed to find the RetroPsychrometer without ripping each other's throats out." Said the Doctor, wincing as Nyssa took out a handkerchief and began to dab at his forehead with some rubbing alcohol she had... just in case. "RetroPsychrometer?" said Adric, waiting for the obligatory 'doctor explains the plot' speech. "Yes, an invention of the Ancient Gallifreyans. They used it to set up 'period parties', you know, 'the Roaring 90's', Woodstock 2005, that sort of thing." "But it takes over the minds of the participants?" chirped Nyssa. "Oh no, no. That was the Master's doing. He was well known for this twisted little modification to the RetroPsychrometer. So hideous was it that all RetroPsychrometers were destroyed." Said the Doctor striding forward. He simply turned it off and took out the laser disk labeled "American Graffiti Ethos." "Its over. Let's go find the Master, shall we?" *** The Fifth Doctor, Nyssa, and Adric ran back out of the maze and up the stairs. As they ran on, they could hear the sound of a rising din. There was a considerable commotion happening upstairs. The Fifth Doctor burst through the door and ducked as a chair smashed into the wall right next to him. The patrons were back to normal, and extremely angry. Nyssa and Adric burst through the door. The scene before them was absolutely chaotic. Ian was wiping his hands through his hair, pulling out great lumps of brylcream and screaming in rage. Ace was continually blowing up the jukebox swearing profusely. Leela was back in leathers by now, not having any qualms about changing right in the middle of the room. Her knife was deftly cutting the red and white checkerboard tablecloths with glee. On stage, Tegan was beating Turlough with the stage's microphone, sending feedback wails squealing over the speakers. Tegan stopped after awhile as Turlough seemed to be enjoying it. Adric ran to the bar where some of his friends had gathered for comfort and protection, and because they were trying to get lots of free booze before order was reinstated. Nyssa ran over to Tegan, now glaring down at Turlough. "You really liked that, didn't you!" tormented Turlough, his eyes bulging out on stalks. "You little rat." Tegan raised the microphone. "Swing Tegan, swing like you know you want to." "Shut up!" she stuffed the microphone down his throat and turned around. "Nyssa! Where have you been?" "The Doctor has turned off the RetroPsychometer that was making you all act bizarre." Said Nyssa, hugging Tegan. "I'm so glad. It was horrible." Drawled Tegan. "This vile little jerk here almost seduced me!" "I think it was the other way around, Tegan..." tormented Turlough in a flat monotone. Tegan swung around and laid him out flat with one punch as fast as lightning. "I've got to go help the Doctor find the Master, he's behind all this you know." "The Master! I should have thought so." Growled Tegan. *** The fifth Doctor was hunting around the This Time Around, looking for the Master. Every strange looking person he came to, he grabbed their face and pulled, trying to see if they were just the Master in a cheap plastic mask. "YEOW!" screamed the Brigadier, "Doctor, what the devil do you think you're doing?" "Sorry, Brigadier, it was the eye-patch." Finally, as Adric and Nyssa caught up with their Doctor, they heard a man wailing and sobbing in the kitchen. They burst through the door. It was the Master! He had a chef's hat on and a big white apron splashed with grease. "Doctor!" he burst in a wild sob, collapsing on a nearby countertop. The Doctor walked up to him. "It made me make cheeseburgers. Nothing but cheeseburgers. Cheeseburgers! Cheeseburgers Cheeseburgers!" ranted the Master, burying his sobbing face in his black leather hands. "So, you weren't behind this evil outrage?" said the Doctor. "Of course not, do you think .... UG!" Nyssa walked calmly up to the Master and slipped a huge carving knife between his first and second right ribs. "Nyssa! He said he didn't do it! From what I saw, I believe him." Scolded the Doctor. "Oh, so do I, Doctor. I just felt like murdering someone." Nyssa glared over at Adric who hid sheepishly behind the Doctor. "I wonder what really happened here?" The trio turned around to where the Master had been. He was gone. "Bloody contracts." Mumbled Nyssa. *** The night was falling dark and murky around the This Time Around by now. On the edge of the parking lot's lighting there stood a man. Middle aged, dressed in a dark suit with a dark greatcoat. He regarded the pub for a long time, smoking a cigarette. The cigarette went out and he quickly threw it aside and lit another one. "You did well." Said a voice behind him. "Did you get enough time?" said the Man who was Smoking a Cigarette as the author deftly avoided a possible copyright violation. "I always have enough time. But yes, I was able to defeat the gods of seven pantheons, destroy two star systems, create another two, build six hundred of the universe' seven hundred wonders, and oh yes, I had tea at a wonderful shop on the outskirts of London." The Man with the Cigarette which was Smoky turned around slowly and exhaled in the strange little figure's direction. The Other figure was wearing a dark coat, white hat and had an umbrella in the shape of a question mark. He was smiling brightly and standing in a dramatic way. "I'm glad I could help you. Now you shall have to do something for me..." began the Cigarette Man Smoking, but he vanished in mid-statement. "And I had time to totally erase you from existence as well." Continued the Seventh Doctor, his face suddenly dark and grave. He tipped his hat menacingly at where the Man with the Smoking Cigarette had been, put his umbrella over his shoulder, and walked toward the This Time Around whistling happily. THE END. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Crediting Credits: This story copyright 1999 by Tony Velasquez (velasqua@grovenet.net) Please ask before printing out because you ran out of toilet paper. :-) Doctor Who and all characters in it are copyright the BBC, 1963 to the present. The Cigarette Smoking Man is from the X-Files and is copyright Paramount or FOX or one of those huge mighty movie companies because I'm not sure which at this hour in the night. And anyway, that guy at the end is just some bloke who happens to be smoking a cigarette and thinks he's on the same level of the Seventh Doctor. Really. But I put this here just in case. The whole idea of Psycho Nyssa and the This Time Around is a majorly marvelous invention of a group of posters on alt.drwho.creative and you should really find an archive and read their stories because they're really good.