The Doctor parked the TARDIS inside the barroom, next to about a hundred other
TARDIS--not plural but plural as it was the same TARDIS. "Romana, mingle, I
want to go and find my friend Adric and find out how's he's getting on with my
next self..." The Doctor left her at the bar and strode off.

"Uhh, Doctor...." Before she could get his attention to tell him what she
already knew, the Doctor was gone. She sat down at the bar on a stool and
nudged herself into the cushion. "Bartender, I'll have a malted shake with a
tiger' s eyeball in it."


"Well, when I say here's looking at you, I want something staring back."


"No, I'm just kidding. Just give me a malted with lots of vanilla and

"That'll get you sick," said Sarah Jane Smith as she sat down, fresh from her
adventure with Eldrad.

"Oh hello, you must be...?"

"Sarah Jane Smith..."

"Oh yes, of course, I recognize the outfit..."

"Do you really?"

"Yes, quite silly, if you ask me."

"I didn't..."

"Typical of a bad reporter then..."

"Typcial of someone who would help a blob faced man go back in time to erase
the human race..."

"I just found one reason why I wish it would have worked."

"You're the one he told me that left him in the lurch with that young Adric

"You're the one who he kicked out. Besides, Adric's preferable to traveling
around with you. At least people would look at him and not laugh. Besides, the
Doctor always said he needed someone more intelligent than you and cave girls
to travel around with although from what I'm seeing Leela was an
improvement...she at least could protect the Doctor..."

"Yes, and the function after she left was taken up by you? Oh no, by the tin
dog that I've grown so fond of. Mine is Mark 3."

"Well, there's no accounting for your math grades is there? Oh you mean, your

"Yes the one he gave me after you stole his..."

"Whiny prat. Never wanting to get cold or wet..."

"Something you don't have to worry're personality...cold and as for
wet...well, no one can dry the wet off of you."

"Savaged by bug eyed monster, thrown down steps, blinded, raging against the

"At least I didn't get eaten by a plant..."

"Can I say Krynoid?"

"Can I say Pirates?"

"Can I say left in the street with a dog?"

"Can I say left of own accord with lion from the Wizard of Oz."

"Can I say ducking down from an atomic blast...really, you could have stood

"I can hardly stand what I'm experiencing now."

"Not unusual for you. You really were a screaming, groaning, annoying clumsy
cow, weren't you? I don't know why so many people were fooled by you."


"Now that was fun, wasn't it?" Romana and Sarah said. They both laughed and
then shared stories about the Doctor that are probably better left untold.