Foreward: This is my very first attempt at writing a DW fanfic. I've
trolled around sites and the 'net for many a year. Then I found the
Psycho Nyssa stories. I loved them so much I just had to try my hand
at writing one of my own. I want to acknowledge all the far more
experienced writers on this group whose works have encouraged me to
write including BKWillis, Douglas Killings and Tyler Dion (creator of
the "This Time Round")


Salt of the Earth
by Tony Velasquez

Adric walked cautiously and worriedly along the wooded path toward the
pub. His eyes darted left to right, searching for his tormentor. He
didn't know why he did this, he wouldn't see her... not until it was too
late. In all probability, he'd be dead before he realized it. It was
a suicidal journey. Still, a job's a job and he did't want to get
fired. After all, if he got fired, he'd just sit around the TARDIS all
day, with only Nyssa to kill his time, quite literally.

Rounding a corner, his heart jumped in his chest. There was Nyssa in
her brown outfit and fairy skirt in the middle of the path. Her back
was too him and she did't appear to have heard his approach. Adric
snuck back down the path, not even daring to breathe. Finally, he
allowed himself some tenative gulps of air. What was she doing? What
were those round black... land mines. "How crude" he thought, "that's
not like her." "Running out of ideas at last! Then she never really was
that imaginative" he sneared to himself, thinking things he'd never ever
dare to say to her out loud.

For a short while he watched Nyssa bury her land mines. Adric snuck
back, relieved she did not hear him. Her trusty PAK44 Fully Automatic
Machine Pistol (Acme Inc. Catalog #132-145063A) was at her side. She'd
ventilate him before he had a chance to blink. Adric made his cautious
way around the This Time Around to the back door. He always kept her
in view but Nyssa seemed quite happy just burying her land mines,
looking like a child playing in the sand at the beach. He was almost
around the corner, he was going to make it!

"Whew!" he gasped, able to breathe at last. Adric was almost happy.
For once he had avoided his evil tormentor. And wouldn't she be
absolutley livid! "How shall I let her know I outwitted her?" he
thought to himself as he jogged, barely able to contain a giggle.
"I've got to let her know, she'll go spare!" "What if I peak out the
front door and scream 'Hey, were those supposed to be *mine*' No...
the pun is too bad, even for me."

Adric ran up the backdoor's path, almost home and free. He didn't
notice that the path's dust seemed a slightly different shade than the
rest of the path. Although Nyssa's constant murdering of him made him
more aware of little details like that, he was far to wrapped up in his
inner celebrations. He had avoided her. He'd give out lots of free
drinks on the house tonight!

Adric plodded up to the door. Suddenly, he noticed the ground. It
looked more like wattle and dawb or some roofing material more than....

Adric fell through the trap. A pit had been dug in the path and
covered by an ingenious system of poles, straw matting and turf. Adric
screamed as he fell in. The covering material following in after him
wasn't enough to hide the spikes. Adric screamed again, even more
hideously as he was impailed on the spikes. Adric kept screaming and
screaming, because the spikes weren't very big. They were just long
enough and sharp enough to do some serious damage, but not fatal. It
was a new level of sadism, even for Nyssa! Unfortunatley, Adric had
fallen on his back, because he noticed something else. A huge vat in
the trees that he hadn't noticed before either. It was beginning to
tip over the pit.

"Well, what's it to be then, Nyssa" Adric groaned frustratingly. "Oil?
Acid? Tubbycustard?" But it was some sort of white powder. Falling
slowly at first but rapidly quickening. "ITS SALT!" screamed Adric as
the whole vat tipped. The inhuman (or in-marshmellowman) screams that
followed brought all the clients out of the pub. They looked in horror
into the pit.

Susan clung to the First Doctor, screaming and crying.

Dodo ran to everyone for comfort.

"Good NaCl sweet prince!" said the Sixth Doctor as callously as he

"Luckily, the shock has put him out of his misery, hmmm?" said the
First Doctor.

The fifth Doctor placed his hat on his head and swivled around, looking
for someone. There, on the edge of the clearing was Nyssa, sitting in
a lounge chair, dark sunglasses on, sipping chilled sancere.

"Ah, that was a very wicked thing to do, you know, Nyssa" said the Fifth
Doctor haltingly, at her side.

"I know, Doctor. Tell everyone I'm sorry."

"I think it would be better if you did something to atone." said the
Third Doctor, striding up to Nyssa purposely. "Get to the store and buy
us more salt so we can have our Margarita Night as planned!"



Notes: Everything is copyright Everybody, but especially the BBC who has all rights reserved to anything to do with Doctor Who.

Yes, the "chilled sancere" is a reference to Red Dwarf. I probably didn't spell it right. I'm not much of a drinker. :)