Once again, Nyssa had manged to track her prey, currently standing in front
of the This Time Round jukebox. By the looks of things, Adric was about to
choose 'I'm Gonna Spend My Christmas with a Dalek'.
She had to stop him. After all, it was her moral duty. And a lot of fun as
She raised the crossbow, and shot Adric straight through the heart.
The crossbow bolt went straight through his scrawny body.
Except it didn't.
Instead, it bounced off his chest.
'Adric, Adric, Adric... how many times have I told you not to wear armour,
hmm? You _know_ it only prolongs things...'
'I'm not wearing armour.'
'No? Then let's see how the M-16 does...'
At which point, a second Adric walked in from the back room.
Nyssa's jaw dropped.
'Wh--ah----hwiw---' Eventually, Nyssa gave up and settled on 'Huh?!'.
'It's quite simple,' the first Adric said. 'Adric asked me to stand in for
him while he was ...working... in the back room. Something about "Not having
that psycho try to kill me every time I *do* this..." '
Nyssa sputtered. 'You... utter... total... unmitigated... backstabbing...'
'Umm..' Behind them, Fitz had raised a hand. 'Would someone mind explaining
this for the idiot humans in the audience...?'
The Adric by the jukebox raised an eyebrow. 'Your words, not mine.... There
are _some_ benefits to having a working chameleon circuit.'
'Totally shagadelic!' There was an admiring grin on Fitz's face.
'I'll take that as a compliment.' The Adric by the jukebox morphed into
Compassion. 'You'd _know_ if I took it otherwise...'
'Anyway...' Compassion reached out and deftly removed the M-16 from Nyssa's
hands. '... in return, Adric was able to give me some advice on certain
The real Adric bowed.
'Mmm. Let's just say that learning that Anji was a stockbroker turned out to
be _very_ handy. Especially when dealing with the Gallifreyan economy.'
Over in the corner, the third Romana blanched.
Compassion continued.'It won't get the Time Lords off our backs, but we do
get _some_ leeway...'
Fitz thought about this for a moment. 'Nifty. So, the Author Mafia told us
where we're going next?'
'Not yet... I think they're scared of me for some reason.'
Fitz's face threatened to break into a grin. 'Wouldn't be because you
threatened to transport whoever came up with the bright idea of fitting you
with a Randomiser straight into the Vortex, would it?'
Compassion quirked a smile. 'Hmm. Now you mention it...' Their voices faded
as they wandered off to the other side of the pub.
Nyssa still hadn't moved from her position glaring at Adric. Then her face
suddenly relaxed. She walked up to Adric.
The satisfied look on Adric's face vanished as he realised that there was
absolutely no escape from the oncoming doom striding towards him in the form
of a psychotic Trakenite.
'Relax, swamprat. I'm not going to kill you. Well, not _today_, anyway.'
Adric visibly relaxed, although his legs sayed tense, ready to run at the
first sight of weaponry.
Nyssa leaned forward and started whispering in his ear. Adric visibly
Then, with a self-satisfied smirk on her face, Nyssa walked out.
Adric staggered over to Harry, who was currently serving behind the bar.
'Get me a lemonade, could you?'
'Certainly, old chap. By the way, what did Nyssa say to you?'
'She explained what would happen to me if I *ever* pulled that stunt again.
In very graphic terms.'
Harry's brow creased in puzzlement. 'But every time she kills you, you come
back from the dead. What could she threaten you with?'
Adric shuddered. 'Don't ask. But whatever else you do, pray she never gets
her hands on a karaoke machine.'
'Ahhh....' Harry pushed Adric's lemonade over in silent understanding.