To Die For: Suddenly Nyssa

(Outside TTR, Adric is tied to the TARDIS as Nyssa aims a flaming arrow
at the small walnut perched on his head, to the mixed reactions of a
crowd of spectators. Adric's face is already covered with soot and
scorch marks)

NYSSA: A hush falls over the audience as Nyssa of Traken steps up for
her final throw (she shifts her aim slightly, and Adric closes his

(As Nyssa fires, the bowstring snaps, smacking her across the face at
high speed. She stands there with a dazed expression as the arrow
impacts on the TARDIS door)

7thDOC: Why does that always bloody happen to me?

(Nyssa looks around her in faint amazement, then walks to the TARDIS and
unties Adric, who collapses in a dead faint. Nyssa gasps and clasps the
Alzarian to her bosom. Several minor characters in the audience splutter
with indignation and envy and a white Dalek spontaneously combusts.
Ignoring them all, Nyssa starts to sing to Adric softly)


Lift up your head,
Wipe off that bullseye.
Here, take my ether pad,
Wipe those soot marks away.
Show me your badge,
Pointed with gold bits;
I know I was a mad bitch
But now I'm OK...

Suddenly Nyssa
Is standing beside you
You don't need no armour,
Don't have to defend.
Suddenly Nyssa
Is here to provide you
With sweet understanding...
Nyssa's your friend.

(Adric has gradually regained consciousness during the above and is
regarding the transformed Traken with tears in his eyes. Softly, he
takes up the song)


Nobody's ever
Treated me kindly.
My parents died early,
The Outlers were bums.
I'd meet a madman,
Pretend to follow him blindly.
He'd snap his fingers,
Me, I'd do the sums...

(Adric stands up to belt out the chorus, Nyssa supporting him)

Suddenly Nyssa
Is standing beside me.
I don't need no armour,
Don't have to defend.
Suddenly Nyssa
Is here to provide me
With sweet understanding,
Because Nyssa's my friend...

(He turns to his former nemesis, but she releases him and moves back a
few steps)


Tell me that madness
Has vanished forever.
That Killings and Willis
Won't twist me again...

(She advances on Adric, who backs away hurriedly at the mention of the
two authors)


Please understand that
You're still strange and frightening.
For a victim like I've been,
It's so hard to say...

BOTH (facing each other, clasping each other's elbows):

Suddenly Nyssa
(Mel, Jo and Yates have formed a chorus line by this point and add
backing vocals while hand-jiving)
[Suddenly Nyssa]
(S)he victimised me (you)
[She victimised you]
Suddenly Nyssa
[Suddenly Nyssa]


Showed me I can
[Yes you can]
Learn how to be more
The geek that's inside me

[Ooh ooh oooh]

With sweet understanding


With sweet understanding


With sweet understand-and-ing
[With sweet understanding]


Nyssa's your (my) girl...

(During the above, Nyssa and Adric have drawn closer and closer
together. Adric waits until Nyssa has finished the last high note, then
draws his mouth closer to the Traken's, only to find she has ducked out
of his reach. With one movement, she draws a large curved sword and
disembowels Adric. As the Alzarian collapses, bleeding copiously and
snivelling, Nyssa smiles demurely.)

NYSSA: Had you going, swamprat.

(Fade to black as the crowd cheers wildly)