THANKS, I NEEDED THAT 1/1 TTR by Paul Gadzikowski DOCTOR WHO series characters and concepts copyright BBC tv THIS TIME ROUND concept by Tyler Dion, after Kielle > PAUL GADZIKOWSKI wrote: > : The Doctor *is* my Mary Sue. "Did you see this?" said Peri. Doctor Six was sitting by himself at the This Time Round bar. Usually of course he sat with himselves at hises' usual table; but th/he/ir/self/ves could never seem to get through an evening without all ganging up on one, and tonight seemed to have been Doctor Six's turn, in an argument about the effect of time travel on personal pronouns. Now he looked up from his carrot juice (adding injury to insult, Mel was tending bar). Peri was standing next to him, in one of her leotard-and-shorts outfits as in Season 22, but this one was a pastel orange, and her hair was longer as in Season 23 and pulled back in a pony tail. She had an adwc post displayed on one of the tavern's laptops. "Mph," he said. "So?" "He says you're the author avatar in his fanfiction," Peri belabored, sitting down on the stool next to his. "He's said that before. Again: So?" "He also says," said Peri, "that he's going to write me stories for the newsgroup the way other unpopular companions get featured by authors who like them." Oddly she failed to emphasize, as she usually did, the word *says* so that what it really meant was *promised but is taking his sweet time about it*. She was speaking in unusually low tones. Doctor Six smothered a laugh. "You're very popular. On at least two mailing lists I know of." Third time's the charm: "So?" Peri leaned forward, displaying her decolletage. "So: author avatars have romances with favored companions." Doctor Six involuntarily expelled a mouthful of carrot juice with a great deal of force. Serendipitously Mel was passing in front of him just at that moment. Unfortunately she was wearing her outfit from "Time and the Rani", and the carrot juice just rolled off the white trousers leaving them as spotless as the Lacaertian dirt had. "Romance??" Doctor Six sputtered. "Romance?! After the way we shouted at each other all through Season 22?! Rather like this??!!" "There has to be a reason we stuck with each other anyway," Peri said, smiling in a manner that made Doctor Six uncomfortable. She stood from her barstool and moved closer to him, tracing the edge of one ear with a fingertip. "Because I was always right, and you thrived on my genius!" Realization and horror dawned. "You've just come from appearing in one of those mailing list stories, haven't you?" "How ever did you guess?" she blew in his ear. "You haven't reverted from fantasy-girl mode yet, have you?" "Maybe not ..." "It isn't 'romance' you're really after, is it!" Peri grabbed Doctor Six by the lapels of his frock coat and somehow lifted him into a supine position on the bar. In an instant she had climbed on top of him and was undoing his tie, and pressing certain portions of her anatomy evocatively and provocatively against certain portions of his. "Mel!!" screamed Doctor Six. It seemed like forever before Mel took action. Peri already had Doctor Six's waistcoat open and was working on the shirt buttons when he suddenly found himself through the air like an asprin down a throat. He was reminded of Winnie-the-Pooh's interior monologue when falling into the heffalump trap: "I'm flying. What Owl does. I wonder how you stop -"; but Doctor Six was unable to get through it all before he hit the tavern floor, though Pooh's fall couldn't have been any longer. Doctor Six regained his feet with considerable difficulty. His entire suit was now waterlogged, and his teeth were chattering from a chill Doctor Four would have shrugged off (in fact, did, in "Seeds of Death", or "of Doom"; Doctor Six could never remember which was which, but begrudged it to Doctor Four whenever "Attack of the Cybermen" was screened), from the ice water that Mel had spilt from the tub suspended at the ceiling. It was only one of a network of such tubs throughout the tavern's main room, overturnable by levers behind the bar, installed specifically against those occasions when Peri arrived in the bar too soon after being recruited into one of those mailing list stories. Levering himself up on a barstool in the suddenly conversationless tavern, Doctor Six discovered that Peri was already upright again. Well, she had less clothing to weigh her down. She too was sopping wet, her bangs and ponytail in rattails, looking utterly miserable and dejected. (Though the effect of the cold water on her upper torso and the clothing thereupon reminded Doctor Six of the reason that there were never wet t-shirt contests at This Time Round, i.e. that no other prospective contestant was unaware who the winner would be. Every time.) "I did it again, didn't I?" she said in a small voice. "Yesss," said Doctor Six. "I didn't mean to." Peri wrung her hands and fidgeted, blushing. "Now now, don't whine," said Doctor Six, putting an arm around her shoulders and sitting with her at the bar as the rest of the patrons turned back to their own concerns. "Two beers, Mel." Mel served a beer and a carrot juice. "What did I do?" Peri asked. "You, ah - Actually," said Doctor Six, "you were complaining again about that fellow who says he wants to write stories about you." "I've *got* fellows who write stories about me." She dejectedly took a gulp of beer. "Stories where you keep your pants on." "That's not even true of all *his*," Peri moaned. She looked back at him, appearing so forlorn, so vulnerable ... then she frowned. "What?" Doctor Six blinked. "'What?', what?" "What were you looking at me like that for?" "Like what?" "I don't know! I never saw you looking that before so I don't know what it meant! That's why I asked!" "Well I assure you I have no idea either," said Doctor Six, believing it when he said it. "Are you sure I didn't do or say anything weird?" Peri snapped. "Nothing. Nothing at all." FIN