THIS TIME ROUND: THE TRUE ULTIMATE FOE by Paul Gadzikowski DOCTOR WHO series characters and concepts copyright BBC tv THIS TIME ROUND concept by Tyler Dion, after Kielle The Doctor was gathering up the cards to deal when Doctor Two and Captain Kirk came into This Time Round. Represented at Friday crossover poker tonight were BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, seaQuest, X-FILES, and Marvel Comics in the person of Jean Grey. The Doctor had got off several puns crossing X-Files terms with X-Men terms that had been criminally underappreciated. He was wearing the waistcoat from the evidence sequences in "Terror of the Vervoids", the tie from the trial sequences, and a cat pin you never saw. Mel was at the next table, listening to Doctor Seven's stories in horror. Kirk ordered a Klingon brandy at the bar. Doctor Two ordered two shotglasses of Scotch, slugged one down immediately, and carried the other as he led Kirk to the poker table. "Room for two more?" "Next hand," said the Doctor. He began dealing; "The game is Diablo." "I'm glad I'm not going to be *you*," sniffed Doctor Two. "You're not?" said Lucas. "I," said the Doctor, "am from the continuity of the present author's humor pieces. This sorry chap -" Actually Doctor Two, and Kirk, did look the worse for wear. "- is from his full-length short, usually crossover, stories." "You have it easy," griped Doctor Two. "You only appear in satirical story fragments. No more real plot than a sex fantasy." "Aww, tsk tsk," said the Doctor. "You're first open, Willow." Willow bet five, Mulder raised, Lucas folded. Everyone still in took two cards. "Things not working out in the 'real' fanfiction universe?" the Doctor continued to Doctor Two. "In the present work-in-progress," said Doctor Two, "Captain Kirk and I are up against the only enemy that could possibly truly defeat any or every one of us here." "Who's that?" Willow asked, alarmed. "Writer's block," said Doctor Two. Even the Doctor shivered. THE END