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EPILOGUE BKWillis turned off the DVD player and cast a hopeful look at the man in whose office he was sitting. "Well, Sidney? What do you think?" Sidney was a big man, big and soft and balding, and when he leaned back in his chair the rattle of jewelry overrode the protesting squeal of the springs. He smiled, capped teeth as straight and sharp as a badger's. "What do I think?" he purred. "I think we're sitting on a gold mine here, that's what I think." He thrust a finger at his guest. "You, my friend, have just brought me next summer's biggest release. Paramax Studios might have had a rough time last year with that flop 'Titanic II', but we'll bounce back up like a starlet's chest with what you've just shown me." "So, we can deal?" asked Willis. Sidney flashed those teeth again. "My friend, I'm not letting you out of here _until_ we have a deal. How much are you asking?" Willis thought for a moment. All-in-all, since he'd managed to trick his ADWC sucke-- _friends_ into making all the scenes for his 'smash hit', his own total investment in the project was around $46... "How about this," said Sidney. "Two million, up front, and a share of the net?" "Umm..." Willis thought for a few more seconds. "I could live with three million, maybe..." "Two-and-a-half?" "Welllll... Okay. I _guess_ I can go that low, if I can have a percentage of the _gross_..." "Done, my little friend. Done." His oily hand engulfed Willis's in a shake, the thought of which deal-sealing made Willis so happy, he forgot to get mad about that 'little' comment. Sidney slid a contract across the desk to him. "Just sign there, and we'll be both be on the road to riches." "You got it, Sidney." BKWillis started to sign on the dotted line, but he noticed something first. "Um, Sidney, about this space here--" "Just put your membership number there, my friend." "Membership?" "Yeah. Your Democratic Party membership number." "Oh. Uh..." Willis scratched embarrassedly at the back of his head. "But, I'm a Republican." Sidney flashed those teeth again. "Not a problem, little guy. We can take care of that, too." "Oh, good..." Sidney picked up the phone. "Security? I have a trespasser in my office. Bring the dogs and tasers." "Hey!" Sidney smiled as he hung up. "Goodbye, my friend. Don't call me, I'll call you." About that time the door was flung open and a dozen or so beefy men and beefier Rottweilers swarmed over BKWillis. And as blood splattered and tasers zapped, Sidney popped the DVD out of the player and regarded it with a professional eye. "Still some use to be gotten out of this," he chuckled. He laid the disk on his desk, then set his pina-colada on top of it. "Yep. Still some use..." ---- CREDITS Chapter 1: Best Drabble/Hooray for Bollywood! Written and Produced by Clive May Performed by Bob the Pterodactyl, Pellucida Pelican, and Tuck the Walrus -- Chapter 2: Best Round-Robin Chapter/The Thin Red Leatherstocking Tale Written by Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart Produced by UNIT Performed by Dave Yadallee and the officers and men of UNIT -- Chapter 3: Best Round-Robin/Full Metal Apocalypse Platoon Written by Darren Ullman Produced by WANKER Performed by the cast of 'To Die For' -- Chapter 4: Best Comedy Short Fiction/Time After Time Waits for No Man Written and Produced by Paul Gadzikowski Performed by Archy the Cockroach and the Milwaukee Polkaholics -- Chapter 5: Best Comedy Long Fiction/You Only Live and Let Die Laughing Written by Han-Tao-El Produced by the Joketsuzoku Amazon Tribe Performed by the cast of 'Spring Surprise' -- Chapter 6: Best Drama Short Fiction/Steel Marionette Maidens X Written by Adric Produced by This Time Round Plagiarized from Satoru Akahori Performed by Adric, Nyssa, Leela, Romanadvratrelundar, Tegan Jovanka, and Perpugilliam Brown -- Chapter 7: Best Drama Long Fiction/Inayata Jones and the Tomb Raiders of the Lost Ark Written and Produced by Imran Inayat Performed by Imran Inayat and Allisandra Allingham -- Chapter 8: Best Series or Story Arc/The Big Hit Parade Revue of 2004 Written and Produced by Igenlode Wordsmith Performed by a cast of thousands, featuring Ernestine von Schelstein, Hilde Osman, and Linde Osman -- Chapter 9: Best 'Doctor Who' Character/Clash of the Barbarian Beastmasters Written and Produced by Ken Young Performed by Magnus and Varne -- Chapter 10: Best Original or Crossover Character/Dirty Mary, the Lethal Enforcer Written by Mary 'Babydoll' Rokossovsky Produced by the Renegade TARDIS Crew Performed by the cast of 'Desert of Fear' -- Chapter 11: Best Crossover/Frontier Space Pirate Warrior Queen Written by Mistress Helen Produced by the SOL Gang Performed by the cast of 'Mystery Psycho Theater 3000' -- Chapter 12: Best Author/Neon Armageddon Day Written and Produced by Nyssaias and Embericles Performed by Nyssaias, Embericles, and featuring Kamelion as Condoleezza Rice -- With Special Thanks To Mr. Dave Yadallee Miss Helen Fayle and my employers, C & H Engineers, for giving me a day off to work on this and the 115th Signals Battalion, Alabama National Guard, because I love 'em -- Good night and congratulations to all of this year's nominees and winners! Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Summary
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