{ NOTE: This section contains a character from 'Voyage of the Damned'. It does not spoil any of the plot of that episode, but if you haven't seen VotD and you're hypersensitive to spoilers, you may have to stop reading after the interview with Sidney Johnson. }

[The scene now changes to Aldgate Underground Station. Liz / Sherlock is now wearing an ulster and deerstalker, has an immense pipe clenched between her teeth, and is holding a magnifying glass the size of a dining plate.]

Brigadier / Watson (vo) :
An hour later Holmes, Lestrade and I stood upon the Underground railroad at the point where it emerges from the tunnel immediately before Aldgate Station. A courteous red-faced old gentleman represented the railway company.

[The red-faced old gentleman is Sam Seeley, the poacher.]

Sam Seeley:
Ar, that be where the body were. It can only have fallen from a train.

Brigadier / Watson [pointing upward at the sides of the cutting] :
Why not from up there?

Sam Seeley:
There baint be no windows up there for he to fall out of.

Brigadier / Watson:
Hmm. And I suppose we can rule out helicopters. So if he did fall out of a train, do we have any idea which one?

Sam Seeley:
Prob'ly be about midnoight. Oi can't say any more definite than that.

Liz / Sherlock:
I take it you examined all the carriages?

Sam Seeley:
Ar, that we did. Didn't find nowt though.

Jamie / Lestrade:
There's a fellow says he heard someone falling out of the train at about twenty minutes tae midnight on the Monday. But he didnae see anything. Hang on, what's Holmes doing now?

[Liz / Sherlock is examining the railway track with her immense magnifying glass.]

Liz / Sherlock:
Hmm. Points, and a curve. I'd expect there to be more blood. Can I take a look at the train to see if there's any blood on it?

Sam Seeley:
No, it'll have been split up by now.

[Adric and Adam arrive. They are wearing their normal costumes, plus anoraks and woolly hats. They carry thermos flasks, sandwiches, notebooks and pens.]

Adric:
Actually, in 1895 the Circle Line used fixed formations, so it shouldn't have been split up except for repair.

Adam:
Not necessarily. It could have been a District train running on the Outer Circle route.

Sam Seeley:
Trainspotters! Be off wi' ye!

[He chivvies them away.]

Jamie / Lestrade:
Anyway, I looked at all the carriages and there wasnae any blood in them.

Liz / Sherlock [with a superior smile] :
Ah, but I didn't want to look in the carriages. All right, you can run along now.

Brigadier / Watson (vo) :
At London Bridge, Holmes wrote a telegram to Mycroft asking for a complete list of all foreign spies or international agents known to be in England. Then we set out on a round of afternoon calls, starting with Sir James Wossname.

Liz [brandishing Zoë's notes] :
Walter!

Brigadier / Watson (vo) :
Sorry, Sir James Walter. The house of the famous official was a fine villa with green lawns, stretching down to the Thames. As we reached it the fog was lifting, and a thin, watery sunshine was breaking through. A butler answered our ring.

[Liz and the Brigadier arrive at just such a house. The Minister of Chance answers the door.]

Minister:
Sir James died this morning.

Liz / Sherlock:
Good heavens! How?

Minister:
Perhaps you would care to step in and see his brother, Colonel Valentine?

[They enter a dimly-lit drawing room. A large portrait of the Eighth Doctor hangs over the fireplace.]

Brigadier:
Well, well. Looks like old Teeth-and-Curls managed to get himself suspended after last time.

Liz:
Or is it because this one's supposed to be a dead brother instead of a dead father?

[Colonel Valentine Walter, played by the Third Doctor, enters. He is wearing an ill-fitting 1890s army uniform and a blond false beard.]

Doctor / Col. Walter:
It was this horrible scandal. It broke my brother's heart.

[Liz is trying so hard not to laugh that she can't say anything.]

Brigadier / Watson:
We had hoped — really, Doctor, I've never seen the uniform mistreated in such a way! Look at the state of those buttons! And are you supposed to be a Lieutenant-Colonel, or a full Colonel? Pick one, and stick to it.

Doctor / Col. Walter [gritting his teeth and remaining in character] :
I assure you it was all a mystery to him as it is to you and to all of us.

Liz / Sherlock:
You cannot throw any new light upon the — mmmpphh! [She stifles her laughter] ... upon the affair?

Doctor / Col. Walter:
No. Now get out, the pair of you.

[The Minister shows them out.]

Liz / Sherlock:
This is indeed an unexpected development.

Brigadier / Watson:
You're telling me. Did you see his beard?

[The two avoid looking at each other, in case they corpse.]

Liz / Sherlock:
I mean Sir James's death. I wonder if he killed himself because he'd failed in his duty?

Brigadier / Watson (vo) :
Then we went to interview the young man's fiancee, Miss Violet Westbury.

[A Victorian drawing room. Rose, dressed in black, greets Liz and the Brigadier.]

Rose / Violet [acting far, far too hard] :
I cannot explain it, Mr. Holmes. I have not shut an eye since the tragedy, thinking, thinking, thinking, night and day what the true meaning of it can be. [She puts the needle down on a gramophone; the music from the Wall Scene in 'Doomsday' plays.] Arthur was the most single-minded, chivalrous, patriotic man upon earth. He would have cut his right hand off before he would sell a State secret confided to his keeping. [She realises something.] That is, he would have cut his right hand off again. It is absurd, impossible, preposterous to anyone who knew him.

Liz / Sherlock:
Was he in any want of money?

Rose / Violet:
Not in the least. He had saved a few hundreds, and we were to marry at the New Year. [She wipes away a tear]

Liz / Sherlock:
No signs of mental excitement?

Rose / Violet [dropping back into her normal way of talking] :
Oh yeah, lots of them, all the time. But nuffink out of the ordinary. You know, dancing about like a maniac, waving his shoe around, that kind of thing.

Brigadier / Watson (vo) :
The quick eye of my companion had noted some change in her manner.

Liz:
Rose, your accent's slipped.

Rose / Violet:
Oh, sorry. [She recovers her poise.] For the last week or so, he was thoughtful and worried. Once I pressed him about it.

[Flashback: The Doctor and Rose are walking down a busy street. Rose is laughing; the Doctor looks worried.]

Rose / Violet:
Arthur, is there something wrong?

Doctor / Arthur:
There's a storm coming — no, sorry, wrong omen. No, I'm worried about something at work. It's too serious to speak about, even to you.

Rose / Violet:
Oh, go on.

Doctor / Arthur [after wrestling with his conscience for literally milliseconds] :
Well, all right then. We're supposed to be a secure facility, but things are so slack that anyone could get at the secret plans. And I'm sure foreign spies would pay a great deal for them.

[Flashback ends.]

Liz / Sherlock:
Now tell us of that last evening.

Rose / Violet:
We were walking to the theatre, and our way took us close to the office. Suddenly he darted away into the fog.

Liz / Sherlock:
Without a word?

Rose / Violet [overacting again] :
He gave an exclamation; that was all. I waited but he never returned. Oh, if you could only, only, save his honour! It was so much to him!

[The music swells to its climax.]

Liz / Sherlock:
Come, Watson. Let's get out of here before I throw up.

[Liz / Sherlock and the Brigadier / Watson are now seen approaching the secure office at Woolwich.]

Brigadier / Watson (vo) :
Mr. Sidney Johnson, the senior clerk, met us at the office and received us with that respect which my companion's card always commanded.

[The Sixth Doctor (wearing his usual multicoloured coat) opens the door. Liz hands him her card.]

Doctor / Sidney:
Oh, it's you, is it? The tradesmen's entrance is round the back.

[He slams the door in their face.]

Brigadier / Watson (vo) :
He was a thin, gruff, bespectacled man of... middle age? His cheeks haggard? This can't be right.

Liz / Sherlock:
Nothing we can do about it now.

Brigadier / Watson (vo) :
All right, all right. "...And his hands twitching from the nervous strain to which he had been subjected."

[They go round to the back. The Doctor grudgingly lets them in.]

Brigadier / Watson (vo) :
We discussed at some length the question of which members of staff had access to which sets of keys, and which of them saw the plans last.

Doctor / Sidney:
I am always the last man out. I put the plans in the safe myself.

Liz / Sherlock:
Well, if Sir James had his keys all the time —

Doctor / Sidney:
He said he did.

Liz / Sherlock:
And you had yours —

Doctor / Sidney:
Day and night. Ask Peri if you don't believe me. She kept complaining all the time about how they got in the way —

Brigadier / Watson:
Thank you, Doctor, that's quite enough of that.

Liz / Sherlock:
Then Cadogan West must have had a duplicate key. There wasn't one on his body. Oh, and while we're at it, why not make copies of the plans instead of stealing the originals?

Doctor / Sidney:
It would require considerable technical knowledge.

Liz / Sherlock:
Which Sir James, or you, or West all had?

Doctor / Sidney:
I suppose so. But he did have the originals, so I don't see what that has to do with it.

Liz / Sherlock:
Next point. There are three papers still missing. Would you be able to build a Bruce-Partington submarine — sorry, a Dillon-Wagoner Gravitron Polarity Generator — with just those three?

Doctor / Sidney:
That's what I said in my initial report. But I've taken another look at the drawings since, and I'm not so sure. They'd need the diagram of the... [He briefly pauses to invent a suitable piece of technobabble] The diathermic magnetic moment adjuster, and that's in one of the drawings we've recovered.

Liz / Sherlock:
I think, with your permission, I will now take a stroll around the premises.

[She does so, inside and out.]

Liz / Sherlock:
I reckon someone's been looking in at the window. The shutters don't quite meet in the middle, and you can see footmarks outside.

Brigadier / Watson:
I thought this was supposed to be a secure office. How come no-one noticed that?

Liz / Sherlock:
Dunno. Ask Jo. Anyway, we've seen everything there is to see here.

[Liz / Sherlock and the Brigadier / Watson are riding back to London in a train. Their compartment also contains a party of soberly-dressed gentlemen, and a Host robot.]

Brigadier / Watson (vo) :
We went back to London. At the station we found that Cadogan West had taken the 8:15 to London Bridge on the night that he died, which would be the earliest possible train he could take after leaving Violet at 7:30.

[One of the gentlemen looks up.]

Professor Fassbinder (for it is he):
He shouldn't have done that. He'd have been crossing his diagonals. Graves's amendment.

Liz / Sherlock:
What are you wittering on about?

Professor Fassbinder:
Well, by travelling from Woolwich to London Bridge after 4pm he'd have crossed his diagonals, and that isn't allowed unless you've got a saxophonist on your team.

Host:
[Chime] Have. You. Never. Played. This. Game. Before?

Another gentleman:
She must go by post, as she's got a head on her.

Host:
[Chime] I. Love. You. Jeremy.

A third gentleman:
She must be sent as a message by the telegraph.

Brigadier:
Hang on, this is Sherlock Holmes, not Through The Looking-Glass.

A fourth gentleman:
Adjudication, Humph?

A fifth gentleman:
What? Oh, just get on with it, and then we can all go home.

Professor Fassbinder:
Is it me? Oh well... Charing Cross?

Host:
[Chime] Tottenham. Court. Road.

Fourth gentleman:
It's not your turn.

Host:
[Chime] Sorry.

Second gentleman:
Shepherd's Bush.

Third gentleman:
Mornington Crescent.

[A subdued murmur of congratulation. The gentlemen shake hands with each other.]

Liz / Sherlock:
Has everyone finished?

Fifth gentleman:
That would be too much to hope for.

Liz / Sherlock:
Then would you mind waiting while I summarise the case?

Fifth gentleman:
I suppose so.

Liz / Sherlock:
Right, this how I see things happening so far.

[Flashback begins.]

Liz / Sherlock (vo) :
Let us suppose, for example, that Cadogan West had been approached by some foreign agent.

[A foggy street. The Tenth Doctor is approached by Professor Taltalian.]

Taltalian [his accent sliding to and fro across the Franco-Spanish border] :
I am a German spy.

Doctor:
No, you aren't.

[A nearby streetlamp goes out.]

Taltalian [Swedish accent] :
I tell you I am a German spy.

Doctor:
I don't believe a word of it.

[Another streetlamp goes out.]

Taltalian [Australian accent] :
I promise you, the Kaiser himself sent me.

[The Doctor just shakes his head sadly. The last streetlamp goes out. A manhole cover nearby suddenly opens, and the Ann Droid rises up out of the hole.]

Ann Droid:
Professor Taltalian, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.

[It zaps him, and disappears back down into the manhole.]

Doctor:
So much for him. Izzy, I think we need another German spy. Preferably one who can do the accent, this time.

[The streetlamps relight. The Karkus enters.]

Karkus [in his ludicrous German accent] :
Hello. I am a German spy. Please make for me copies of ze secret plans und I vill give you four ounces dolly-mixture.

Doctor:
Oh, fantastic. I suppose this one's from the right country, at least.

Karkus:
Vot is your answer?

Doctor / Arthur:
I would never betray the secrets I hold in trust.

Karkus:
Oh vell. It vas vorth a try.

Liz / Sherlock (vo) :
It might have been done under such pledges as would have prevented him from speaking of it.

Karkus:
If you tell anybody about zis, I vill kill you.

Liz / Sherlock (vo) :
Now, suppose that as he went to the theatre with the young lady he suddenly, in the fog, caught a glimpse of this same agent going in the direction of the office.

[The Tenth Doctor / Arthur and Rose / Violet are walking along eating chips, as before. Switch to the Doctor's viewpoint — the Karkus, resplendent in his black cape, purple tights and silver boots, is briefly visible striding through the fog. The Doctor dashes off after him.]

Liz / Sherlock (vo) :
He followed the man, reached the window, saw the abstraction of the documents, and pursued the thief.

[The Doctor peers through the window. We see what he sees — the Karkus firing his anti-molecular ray disintegrator at the lock of the safe. The safe falls open and the Karkus grabs the plans. The flashback ends.]

Brigadier / Watson:
So that's why copies weren't made. The outsider would have to take originals. Then what?

Liz / Sherlock:
I'm not sure. Presumably West followed the spy, got killed, and ended up being dumped on the roof of the train. That's why he didn't have a ticket, by the way. Let's see if Mycroft has got us that list of known spies - it might be easier to investigate them.

Fifth gentleman:
Was that it? Pity it wasn't shorter. Now I want to hear your late arrivals at a ball for insane megalomaniacs.

Brigadier:
Mr and Mrs Preme-Dictator, and their daughter Sue?

Liz:
Oh, I despair.