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Alryssa, Imran, and Donald found themselves back at their starting point – face to face with the seventh Doctor and a formerly-cute-and-cuddly-but-now-huge-and-horrific Mappy.
Variations of “oof!”, “oh, my!” and “What the fa–” erupted simultaneously from all three.
“You know…” Imran said, grimacing, “that’s the second time today my timeline’s been fractured…”
Alryssa nodded. “Any ideas? Or an aspirin, if not any ideas? I’m getting a headache from all this…”
“Here,” said Donald, offering a small glass bottle.
Alryssa took the bottle and read the label: “Special Herbal Remedie for the Soothing of Brain Pain. Made by a real Quack.” She shot the duck a dark look. “Loon,” she muttered.
“Duck,” corrected Donald. “Duck – Anatidae. Loon – Gaviidae. Not that difficult to tell apart, really.”
Alryssa glared at him again.
“It could be worse,” the duck added. “You should just be thankful I haven’t needed to bring out the Hare Restorer.”
Alryssa groaned. “Please, Imran… tell me you have an idea…”
Imran thought for a moment, but Donald interjected. “Maybe it’s something to do with the Valeyard’s plans. His attempts to tamper with history are causing divergent timelines to split off from the central timeline…”
Alryssa and Imran looked at each other. Then Alryssa asked, “So which timeline’s this?”
“Must be the one where we stayed in Adwc,” Imran said.
“How can you tell?” Donald asked.
“Well, for one thing,” Alryssa pointed out, working out the logic as she hefted her pint of Guinness, “in Adwc, authors can do anything, and Imran could only know the timeline’s diverged if he’s in Adwc… which means he’s using the ‘awareness of what other people in the story are up to’ ability.”
“For another,” she added, “we’re in This Time Round…”
“Hi, guys!” said Alryssa happily. “Didya miss us?”
Thomas appeared from the crowd. He looked happy enough, and swept her up in a bear hug.
The rest of the party politely shifted their gaze for a few moments. The eighth Doctor smirked. The fourth Doctor nudged his arm. Both chuckled, and were looked at reproachfully by the second and seventh Doctors.
“Now we’re all back together again,” said Eloise, “it’s Party Time!”
With many a cheer, the scattered partygoers streamed back into the Pro-Fun TARDIS.
The party was just beginning to get back up to speed, when the first Doctor said, “This is getting out of hand, don’t you think?”
The Doctors were treated to an array of baffled looks.
“Err… what’s the problem?” asked Imran, tentatively.
“Take a look,” the eighth Doctor said darkly, pointing to the Videophone (now reconnected to the Hand of Omega). “After we got Seventh back, we decided to see how you were getting on in Adwc, and…”
Alryssa, Imran, and Donald looked at the Videophone screen.
Eventually, Alryssa remarked, “Oh dear…”
Thomas’ expression at the thought of two Alryssas was… hard to decipher…
Alryssa glared at him. He went red.
The eighth Doctor wondered if he might…
Alryssa turned on him. “Delete that thought, right now!” she yelled.
The Doctor found the stares of many on him. He shrugged, helplessly.
Eloise put her head in her hands and groaned. If it rained, it poured. These sort of things weren’t meant to happen at a party!
“Ooooh, my head hurts… Does anyone have an aspirin, a pint, or possibly, both?” Alryssa asked weakly.
“I think I have an aspirin,” Eloise said, digging around in the pockets of her fishing vest, “…somewhere – yes, here.” She strode up to her unhappy birthday guest, and reached out to drop the tablet into her palm.
A wave of nausea came over her. There was a loud Pop! in the air that knocked them both off their feet.
“You know,” said Eloise, shakily getting to her feet and backing away, “I think Alryssa may be at the center of all these time fractures… She was there when Thomas picked up that strange object, and right now, the universe seems very… unstable… in her vicinity.”
“Now that you mention it,” Donald commented, “I’m not feeling very well ‘put together’ myself.”
“Me either,” agreed Imran. He turned to the eighth Doctor. “How do you stand it?” he asked.
“Of course!” the sixth Doctor grumbled. “It would be just the Stenchyard’s style to try and stop us by messing with the time stream of one person in our party – someone we wouldn’t expect.”
“She’s not even a Time Lady,” the fifth said. “It hardly seems fair.”
“Well, that doesn’t surprise me!” the sixth retorted.
“But it does make sense,” the second said, “when you stop to think about it. All this started on Alryssa’s birthday… And birthdays are personal nexus points.”
Alryssa groaned. She was looking rather blue-green about the gills.
“If time rifts are bad for Time Lords,” Eloise asked quietly, “what are their effects on ordinary humans?”
“You don’t want to know,” the eighth Doctor murmured.
“So, how do we protect her from future attacks?” Eloise asked, with growing alarm. “Any ideas?”
“Umm… Doctor?”
“Yes, Fitz?”
“Remember what happened to Sam in San Francisco? Y’know, the way her history kept changing?”
“Yessss….”
“What if… Alryssa’s… what d’you call it… bio date…”
“Biodata.”
“Right.” Fitz looked lost for a moment, then continued. “What if… Alryssa’s biodata’s been altered, so that when history gets altered, her biodata splits…”
“…And creates a time rift in the Vortex!” The Doctor gave Fitz a big hug. “Fitz, that’s genius!” He paused for a moment. “Oh dear. This is going to be a problem.”
“Oh no…” Alryssa moaned.
The Doctor continued. “The only way we were able to stop Sam’s history altering was by closing the scar left by the Eye of Harmony. To stop Alryssa’s history altering, we’re going to have to get rid of that…” He grimaced. “…‘artifact’, back on Gallifrey. Its… extra-dimensional nature means that Alryssa’s history could split again, at any time…”
“So what’s the good news?” Alryssa demanded.
“Thomas is going to have a great night in bed tonight…” Fitz observed.
Alryssa picked up a custard pie from the buffet table, and splatted him in the face. That made her feel at least a little better – although the traumatised expression on Thomas’ face was so endearing she didn’t have the heart to take her frustration out on him too. Her eyes settled on the trifle sitting next to the cake, and eyed Fitz up for another hit. Fitz tried to hide, with marginal success.
Compassion cocked her head, as if listening to something. Then she tapped Eloise on the shoulder. “Just received an odd message from Eris. She says, ‘You’re on your own for this one…’”
“Why does that not surprise me?” Alryssa declared. “We spend most of our lives dedicating ourselves to her and her friend gods and goddesses, and the one time we need her, she won’t help!”
Silence suddenly reigned. Imran looked shocked.
Compassion had an odd expression on her face. “Erm… I feel funny.” she said.