"Mister," little Ace said, as the Master opened the storybook.

The Master fixed her with his gaze. "Yes?"

"Why hasn't there been more exciting stuff in the story? Last time all there was was a man in silly clothes."

"Those weren't silly!" little Romana II protested. "They were lovely."

Ace stuck to her point. "Why can't we have something blowing up?"

"Or a ship sinking?" Vicki suggested.

"Or a duel?" Leela asked. "On the battlements of a castle, with swords."

"Or a unicorn," Susan said.

"This story does not take requests," the Master said. "I shall not be interpolating unicorns, shipwrecks and the like. Now, do you want to find out what happened next, or don't you?"

Delgado Master / Narrator [vo] :
In due course, the insurance company heard from their agents.

[The Eighth Doctor and Charley are standing in the crumbling palace.]

Charley :
Doctor, this all seems very familiar somehow.

Eighth Doctor :
And to me. The decaying architecture, the dampness in the air, the smell of the lagoon... unmistakeably Venice.

Charley :
What, again?

Eighth Doctor :
I'm afraid so, Charley. And judging by the lack of hydrocarbon byproducts, it must be... mid-nineteenth century?

Charley :
You can't do better than that?

Eighth Doctor :
At a wild guess, I'd say the 6th of December, 1860.

Charley :
That's more the sort of thing I'd expect from you. Still, at least this time we shouldn't have to worry about the whole city collapsing around our ears.

[A decaying lump of plaster drops from the ceiling and smashes a few feet away from her.]

Eighth Doctor :
Maybe not the whole city, but this building is in serious need of some tender loving care.

[The Ainley Master hurries across the hall to greet them.]

Ainley Master / Rivar :
I'm afraid that is a little beyond us. But I understand that when we move out, the palace is to be refurbished and made into an hotel. Good morning to you both. I am Lady Montbarry's brother. What can I do for you?

Eighth Doctor :
We're just checking up on a few details relating to Lord Montbarry's death.

Charley :
Such as, was it really natural causes or did you bump him off?

Eighth Doctor :
Charley! A little tact, please.

Charley :
Sorry.

Ainley Master / Rivar :
Oh, not at all. Your company must take reasonable precautions, mustn't they? Let me show you round the palace.

[We see a montage as they are shown around.]

Charley [vo] :
We saw the bedchamber where his lordship died. That was on the first floor, along with his study and his wife's room. The Baron and the courier lived on the second floor. Most of the rest of the building was abandoned and neglected.

Eighth Doctor :
Tell me, is there anything below ground level?

Ainley Master / Rivar :
Indeed there is, Doctor. Perhaps you would like to visit the vaults?

Charley :
I should say so.

Ainley Master / Rivar :
This way, then. It's through this trapdoor.

Charley :
Wouldn't it be a bit awkward if that fell closed behind us?

Ainley Master / Rivar :
Heh heh heh. I assure you it is completely safe.

Eighth Doctor :
Then perhaps you wouldn't mind going first?

Ainley Master / Rivar :
Really, such suspicion.

[They descend the stairs, into a laboratory. The lab is obviously run by the maddest of mad scientists; a stuffed alligator hangs from the ceiling, there are enough flasks of brightly-coloured liquid to run a small dye factory, and blue sparks leap between large copper globes.]

Eighth Doctor [running over to a complicated revolving machine] :
A plectodotroscope! It's years since I've seen one of those!

Charley [putting her handkerchief to her nose] :
What a vile smell!

Ainley Master / Rivar :
My sister has a horror of chemical smells and explosions, which is why I have been banished to these lower regions.

Eighth Doctor :
Tell me, why are you wearing your gloves indoors?

Ainley Master / Rivar :
I accidentally burnt my hands while experimenting. [He peels back one glove, to show a bandage.]

Eighth Doctor :
Well, that's about it. Thank you for your time.

[In a montage, they are seen visiting the bank manager (a Usurian), the British consul (Colonel Trenchard), the police (in the person of an Auton policeman with no face) and the cleaning lady (still the Third Doctor).]

Charley [vo] :
We asked around, but didn't get any further. The banker and the consul had seen Lord Montbarry when he arrived, but that was it. The police had gone through the courier's possessions, but all he had was clothes. No diary or anything. And the cleaning lady, poor old soul, didn't really have much of an idea about anything. The next day we went to see Lady Montbarry.

[Upstairs in the palace. The Doctor and Charley are interviewing Gwendoline.]

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry :
Well, let me see. On the night of November 13th-14th my husband fell ill with a cold. My maid had left, so the only servant we had was the courier. We sent him out to buy lemons, and I made hot lemonade.

"If you made lemonade hot it would be very fizzy," little Ace said. "The bottle would explode and it would go everywhere. Boom!"

"That isn't the sort of lemonade she's talking about," the Master said wearily.

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry :
Later on the 14th, I wanted Ferrari, but he'd disappeared. We looked for him everywhere, but with no success. For the next few days my husband's cold got worse and worse, and eventually we called in a doctor.

[Martha's surgery.]

Martha / Doctor Bruno :
Here are copies of my prescriptions. Lord Montbarry seemed all right for the first three days, but then he developed pneumonia...

[Flashback: Outside the sickroom. Lady Montbarry and Doctor Bruno are in conversation.]

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry :
I think we should have a second opinion.

Martha / Doctor Bruno :
I'm sorry to say I have to agree.

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry :
Spare no expense, then. Get the best medical opinion in Italy.

Martha / Doctor Bruno :
That would be Doctor Torello of Padua. [She pulls out a mobile phone, and presses a few buttons.] I'll get him here at once.

[Outside the sickroom, that evening. Lady Montbarry and Doctor Bruno are there.]

Martha / Doctor Bruno :
It doesn't sound good.

[The door opens. The Simm Master comes out, and double-takes.]

Simm Master / Doctor Torello :
Not you again.

Martha / Doctor Bruno :
Same to you

Simm Master / Doctor Torello :
Anyway, nothing to be done. I told him he'll be dead within eight hours.

Martha / Doctor Bruno :
Oh, yeah? Since when were you a doctor? You could be wrong.

Simm Master / Doctor Torello [flourishing his laser screwdriver] :
I won't be. One way or the other. Oh, by the way... [He delves in his pocket, and produces a letter, sealed and stamped]. He gave me this. He had it under his pillow. Addressed to a Mrs Ferrari, somewhere in London. Interesting. [He holds it up to the light, and then to his ear.] Wonder what's in it?

Martha / Doctor Bruno :
That's nothing to do with you. It's got to be posted.

Simm Master / Doctor Torello [throwing the letter to her] :
Here you are, then. Post it.

[The flashback ends. We're back in Martha's surgery.]

Charley :
And your opinion on the cause of death?

Martha / Doctor Bruno :
Bronchitis, followed by pneumonia. No question of it.

"They weren't very good doctors," said the baby Rani. "I can make pills that would make him better in half a second."

As proof, she held up a small plastic tube, containing crudely-formed balls of plasticine.

"Only because they'd turn him into a monster," little Martha said. "A big one with eight legs and a stinger. Or a tree."

"How would you know?"

"Because all the pills you invent do that."

"That isn't fair..."

The Master glared at them until they fell silent.

Charley :
That's a nuisance. Sounds like we'll have to pay out. There goes my dividend for this year.

Eighth Doctor :
Yes. But I'd like to pay a call on Mrs Ferrari and see if we can find out what that letter was.

[They leave.]

Delgado Master / Narrator [vo] :
When they did talk to Mrs Ferrari, she was more convinced than ever that the Countess was responsible for her husband's disappearance. Since the Countess had returned to London, she decided to confront her in person.

[Newbury's Hotel, London. Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry is sitting with her back to the window. Emily enters.]

Mel / Emily :
I come, my lady, to acknowledge the receipt of the money sent to Ferrari's widow.

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry :
Whatever are you talking about? Are you connected with that courier who disappeared?

Mel / Emily :
I am his widow — and you know it, you wicked woman! Ah! It was an evil hour when Miss Lockwood recommended my husband to be his lordship's courier—!

[Lady Montbarry launches herself at Emily, and the two end up struggling on the floor.]

Delgado Master / Narrator [vo] :
Will you stop doing that?

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry [trying to pin Emily to the floor] :
Actually, this time it is in the book.

[Emily takes advantage of her opponent's momentary distraction to gain the upper hand.]

Delgado Master / Narrator [vo] :
Hmmm. Well, maybe you do lay hands on her, but she's not supposed to defend herself.

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry [now caught in a half-nelson] :
Then I suggest you address your admonitions— ow!— to Miss Bush here.

Delgado Master / Narrator [vo] :
Oh dear. She is, of course, one of the fittest of the Doctor's young protegées, is she not? All those gym sessions. Still, she is only human. Just as Emily seemed on the point of victory, the clock struck.

[A huge cuckoo clock appears on the wall. It strikes one. The door above the dial opens, and a boxing glove on a pole shoots out, knocking Emily off her feet.]

Mel / Emily :
Oooh... pretty lights...

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry [grabbing her by the throat] :
Tell me the truth! Did you mean that about Miss Lockwood?

Mel / Emily :
You're strangling me!

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry :
Actually, forget that. Where does she live? Take me to her, now! Taxi!

[Agnes's front room. A can of Nitro-Nine is on the table. Agnes is manipulating the timer mechanism with tweezers. Lady Montbarry enters.]

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry :
I beg to apologise for my intrusion, Miss Lockwood...

Ace / Agnes :
You again!

[Within seconds, they are fighting on the carpet.]

Delgado Master / Narrator [vo] :
Miss Pritchard! Does this have to happen in every scene you take part in?

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry :
Please, all I want to ask is a question! Ow! Let go of me!

Ace / Agnes :
No way, slapper.

[Henry Westwick enters.]

Henry / Harry :
Miss Lockwood, are you all right? I met Mrs Ferrari on the doorstep, and she told me Lady Montbarry had forced her way in...

Ace / Agnes [twisting Lady Montbarry's arm behind her back] :
Yeah, I'm fine.

Henry / Harry :
I say, should that thing be ticking?

[He indicates the can of Nitro-Nine.]

Ace / Agnes :
No! Get rid of it!

[She releases Lady Montbarry, runs to the table, and hurls the can out of the window. There is a flash of orange light and a boom.]

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry :
Please, can I ask my question? When the courier used your name, did you give him permission to?

Ace / Agnes :
Yeah, I suppose I did.

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry :
Oh. [She turns to go.]

Ace / Agnes :
Hang on. What's this all about?

Gwendoline / Lady Montbarry :
The time is near, Miss Lockwood, when you will discover that for yourself. You have been made the instrument of the retribution that my sins of many years had deserved. You have still to bring me to the day of discovery, and to the punishment that is my doom. We shall meet again.

Ace / Agnes :
Not if I have anything to say about it.

[She advances on Lady Montbarry, who turns and runs for her life.]

Henry / Harry :
You know, it's lucky I happened to be passing. You're very vulnerable living here on your own with only your old nurse. If I married you I could look after you.

Ace / Agnes :
That's your lamest idea yet. Anyway, I'm not going to be here much longer. I'm going to look after your brother Stephen's children. Their governess got a legacy and left, so I'm taking her job.

Henry / Harry :
Seriously?

Ace / Agnes :
Yeah, why not? I'll have them making Molotov cocktails and writing rude words on walls in no time. By the way, didn't you say you left Emily outside?

Henry / Harry :
Yes.

Ace / Agnes :
That Nitro-Nine probably blew her to bits. I'd better go and see how bad the damage is.

Henry / Harry :
Before you do, can I speak to your nurse?

Ace / Agnes :
I'll send her in.

[She leaves. A little later, Gemma enters.]

Gemma :
Can I help you?

Henry / Harry :
You've got a legacy. A hundred pounds, in my late brother's will.

Gemma :
That's a nice windfall. Any ideas for how I should spend it?

Henry / Harry :
Well, as it happens... [He produces a glossy brochure] I've put quite a bit into the Palace Hotel Company at Venice.

Gemma :
That's the one where your brother died?

Henry / Harry :
The very same. You remember it was going to be converted when the lease expired? Anyway, I know the manager. He's a good man. Why not invest your money in that?

Gemma :
Might as well as not.

[Agnes enters.]

Ace / Agnes :
Nurse, you'd better send for some blokes with shovels. Or maybe a hose. It's a mess out there. We're talking serious strawberry jam.

Henry / Harry :
I must be going now. When shall I see you again?

Ace / Agnes :
I'll be at your brother's house. Come whenever you like.

Henry / Harry :
May I kiss you? Purely as a cousin, of course?

Ace / Agnes :
Look, do you want an elbow in your throat?

The Master closed the book.

"Well, children, how are you finding it now?" he asked.

"I liked it when Emily got blown up," Baby Ace said. "Bang! Splat!"

"And when they were fighting," Leela said. "That was funny."

"What's this?" Izzy asked, sweeping into the room. "Fighting? Explosions? This is not what I want to hear."

"They aren't in the book," the Master said. "It's cast misbehaviour, nothing more."

"Well..." Izzy escorted him to the door. "Maybe I'll give you another chance."

"Of course you will," the Master said, looking directly into her eyes.

"Of course I will," Izzy echoed.