“Look,” said Sarah, guiding the Librarian to the bar. “You’re a
Pratchett character *and* a librarian. Explain to him about the power
of stories and that sort of thing.”

“Ook.”

Harry looked at Sarah in confusion. “I don’t see why you can’t answer
my question without bringing the Librarian into it.”

“Go on,” said Sarah.

The orang-utan sighed and began. “Ook, ook?”

“No, I can’t say I have. What seven basic plots?”

“Ook.”

“Well, it sounds interesting, but I don’t see what it has to do with
the price of eggs.”

“Ook??”

Sarah glared at Harry. “Oh, don’t you start confusing him.”

“Sorry.”

“Ook, ook, ook, *ook*,” said the Librarian. “Ook.”

Harry followed this intently and then frowned. “Yes, I daresay, but
there weren’t any jolly old frogs around and Sarah’s not a princess –
no offence, old girl.”

The Librarian considered for a moment, but Harry was always prepared
to give him free peanuts when he was at the bar, so he patted his hand
gently and left.

“Anyway, all I said was,” protested Harry, “that I thought it was good
fun and could we do it again some day. I’ve always wanted a little
practice in the country.”

Sarah eyed him warily. “Oh, I don’t mind another round of sleuthing,
but you can keep your hands off me in future.”

“I say,” he objected, “you were the one who -.”

“You wrote it!”

He blinked. “Sarah, you know I’m not one of those clever fellows who
can dream up stories. I only put down what happened.”

She laughed and forgave him, because he had at least saved her life,
even if she was annoyed that, when it came to detecting, he’d run
round with Miss Marple behind her back. “Yes,” she said, sitting on
the stool. “We can do it again some day. Now, where’s that drink I
ordered?”

***


Credits & Disclaimers

Doctor Who is copyright of the BBC (some elements, (C) of Big Finish
and BBC Wales.
Miss Marple is copyright of the Agatha Christie Mallowan estate.
TTR was dreamt up Tyler Dion.
This story is based on an idea by Helen Fayle, which I shamelessly ran
off with.
A certain Discworld character crept in there at the end.
Plus, I think the guy from the garage was Ronnie Corbett.

I had fun, I hope everyone else did, too. With sincere apologies to
the FIrst Doctor (who isn't a blackmailer and murderer, although
sometimes you do have to wonder) and the Eighth Doctor (who would
probably find a better outlet for his enthusiasm than theft and
forgery, even trapped in a small town).

Cast List (incomplete):

Nether St Yorick
Postmistress - Miss Maren
Village shop - Misses Flavia and Thalia Chancellor
Village Teacher - Miss Barbara Wright
Rev. Magister - The Master
Landlady of The Dark Horse - Mrs Briggs (who has been known to captain
a starship with stowaway Cybermen)
Tea Shop proprietor - Mrs A (ably helped by Daisy K and Priscilla P;
the Kandyman was presumably in the kitchen)
Professor Smith - the First Doctor
GPs - Dr Mehendri Solon and Dr Harry Sullivan
Police Officers - Inspector Mackenzie and Constable Benton

Various other villagers:
Miss Amelia Rumford
Miss Vivien Fay
Miss Evelyn Smythe
Mrs Magister (I could *not* make up my mind, so you were spared that
bit)
Miss Marple's 'help' - Martha Jones (Yes, she was annoyed about it.
She heard that the village needed a doctor and what happens?)
Kirsty & Kitty - two maids.
Kirsty's cousin - Victoria Waterfield (naming her just sounded so
inappropriate..)


Namechester
Mrs & Mrs John Smith (owners of the Crown pub) - Fourth Doctor and
Romana II
Garage owner - probably Ronnie Corbett.
Dr John Smith, Bored Academic (Eighth Doctor)