[The Harding Brothers' emporium. Holmes and Watson are met by Mr. Harding.]

Qixotl / Harding :
Listen, you can't prove anything. She told me she had the complete disposition of her money—

Spandrell / Holmes :
— and you were in the Renaissance at the time. We've already done that gag. Get to the point.

Qixotl / Harding :
You haven't said what the point is.

Spandrell / Holmes :
The bust of Rassilon you sold to Mr Harker was one of three. Who got the other two?

Qixotl / Harding :
Let's take a look. Here we are. One to Mr Harker, one to Mr. Josiah Brown of Laburnum Lodge, Laburnum Vale, Chiswick, and one to Mr Sandeford of Lower Grove Road, Reading.

"Isn't it lucky all the shopkeepers kept all the names and addresses of everyone who bought the statues?" Baby Nyssa said.

"You've prob'ly got to give your address if you buy a statue of Rassilon," Vicki said. "So the Government can see if you've got a licence for it. Like televisions."

Adric looked unconvinced. "Why do you need a licence for a statue of Rassilon?"

"P'raps so they know there's someone to give it flowers so it turns kind and nice," little Nyssa said. "That's what we used to do."

"When it was you giving it the flowers that worked really well," Adric said, with all the sarcasm a three-year-old could muster. "Didn't it?"

Nyssa gave him a cold look. "It would have worked if it hadn't been the Master!"

"Or maybe it's just because you're such a nasty person", Adric countered, and stuck his tongue out at her for emphasis.

With a scream of rage, Nyssa hurled herself at him, fists raised. Izzy, moving with the speed she could muster, managed to separate the two before any permanent damage was done.

"Nyssa, over here," she said. "Adric, over here. And if I here one more peep out of either of you, there'll be no more story."

Qixotl / Harding :
Is there anything else I can help you with?

Spandrell / Holmes :
Yes. Do you recognise this photograph?

Qixotl / Harding :
No. Not a face you'd forget in a hurry, is it?

Spandrell / Holmes :
Do you have any Italians on your staff?

Qixotl / Harding :
Yes, one or two.

Engin / Watson :
And they'd be able to get at your records if they wanted to?

Qixotl / Harding :
I suppose so.

Spandrell / Holmes :
Right. That's it. We'd better be going, or we'll be late for our meeting with Lestrade.

[221B Baker Street. Lestrade is pacing up and down, glancing at the clock. Holmes and Watson arrive.]

Andred / Lestrade :
Oh, there you are. What luck, Mr Holmes?

Spandrell / Holmes :
We have had a reasonably productive day. And you?

Andred / Lestrade :
I've identified the dead man. Pietro Venucci of Naples. One of the greatest cut-throats in London. He is known to be connected with the Mafia.

[He taps his wrist-communicator. It shows a hologram of the Roberts Master surrounded by a group of Foamasi.]

Engin / Watson :
Are you sure? If he's from Naples wouldn't he be more likely to be a member of the Camorra?

Spandrell / Holmes :
If he's from Naples. Go on, Inspector.

Andred / Lestrade :
You see how the affair begins to clear up. Pietro was sent to do a hit on whoever's been breaking the busts. He spies his target breaking into a house, waits outside, and in the scuffle gets his throat cut. What do you think?

Spandrell / Holmes :
Excellent, Lestrade, excellent! But you haven't actually explained why the busts were being destroyed in the first place.

Andred / Lestrade :
If we get a conviction for murder, there's no point messing around with charges for burglary or destruction of property.

Spandrell / Holmes :
Very well. What do you plan to do now?

Andred / Lestrade :
Go to the Italian Quarter with that photo you borrowed, find someone who looks more or less like it, and arrest them.

Spandrell / Holmes :
Because the murderer will be sure to wait around at home all day for you to come looking for them. No, I have a better idea. I think I may be able to find your murderer for you tonight at Chiswick. Watson, I need this message sent at once.

Engin / Watson :
Chiswick? Isn't that where one of the other busts is?

Spandrell / Holmes :
Precisely.

Engin / Watson :
And you intend to catch the criminal in the act?

Spandrell / Holmes :
Exactly when did you become an expert in the science of deduction?

Engin / Watson :
Ah, that's what Sherlock Holmes always does. Lie in wait for the criminal and catch them in the act.

Andred / Lestrade :
We'd better take care. Legends say Chiswick is the habitat of a ferocious creature known only as the Donnanoble.

[Laburnum Villa, Chiswick: A large, rambling Gallifreyan House standing in its own grounds. There is a light in one window. Holmes, Watson and Lestrade lurk in the shadow of a nearby fence.]

Spandrell / Holmes :
I fear you may have a long wait.

Engin / Watson [vo] :
It proved, however, that our vigil was not to be so long as Holmes had led us to fear...

[A shadowy figure moves silently in the direction of the House. There is gentle creaking sound as of a window being forced. There is a brief flash of light in one window, then another and another.]

Andred / Lestrade [whispering] :
Let's get to the open window and nab him when he comes out.

Spandrell / Holmes [whispering] :
Too late.

[The figure emerges from the window with a pale object under one arm, creeps to where a patch of light shines on the ground from the lit window, and sets the object down. We hear a sharp tap.]

Spandrell / Holmes :
Now!

[The three detectives rush out and handcuff the burglar. At least, Holmes and Lestrade rush; Watson doesn't arrive until it's all over.]

Engin / Watson [vo] :
As they turned the suspect over I saw a hideous, sallow face, with writhing, furious features, glaring up at us.

[The burglar looks up. It's Leela.]

Leela :
You would do well to guard your tongue, wizened one. If you call me 'hideous' again, I shall cut it out.

Izzy / Narrator :
But Holmes wasn't giving any attention to the prisoner. All his attention was focused on the fragments of the bust. He examined each piece one by one, but didn't seem to find anything.

[The lights come on inside the house. The door opens, revealing Mr Josaiah Brown, accompanied by two Drudges carrying trays laden with food.]

Borusa / Mr. Brown :
Whoa, dudes.

Spandrell / Holmes :
Oh, no, not this again.

Borusa / Mr. Brown :
Won't you come in and have a bite to eat? I've got the munchies real bad, man.

Andred / Lestrade [backing away] :
No, thank you. We need to get the prisoner down to the station.

Borusa / Mr. Brown :
Groovy.

Spandrell / Holmes :
I think it's time we were going, too.

Andred / Lestrade :
That's all right. [He picks up Leela's knife.] Traces of blood on the handle. We'll get a conviction, no trouble. But how did you know she would be here?

Spandrell / Holmes :
It's too late to explain now, and there are a few details I need to check. Come round and see me tomorrow, and I'll tell you then.

[At this moment, a passerby catches sight of them.]

Donna [at the top of her voice] :
Oi! What are you lot doing in there? This is a respectable neighbourhood. You clear out of here now or I'll call the police.

Andred / Lestrade :
Madam, I am the police.

Donna [approaching them] :
Oh. Well, what do you think you're doing creeping around in there? Why aren't you on the beat catching burglars?

Engin / Watson :
We've just caught one. Look, here she is.

Donna :
Then what are you still hanging around here for?

Spandrell / Holmes :
We have just finished taking a statement from an important witness, madam.

[Before Donna can say anything, Holmes, Watson, Lestrade and the prisoner are transducted away.]

Donna :
They ought to be ashamed of themselves. Kicking up a racket at this time of night, waking everyone up.

Borusa / Mr. Brown :
Far out.

Donna [noticing him and the Drudges for the first time] :
Hey, are those chocolate cookies? Thanks, I don't mind if I do.